How are we going to afford this?

A few years ago my husband and I made the decision to pay off all of our debts and pay cash for everything.  Our rule quickly became that, if we can't pay cash without dipping into our 6 month emergency fund, we won't be doing it.  This decision means we've said "no" to a lot of things, but we also know it's the responsible thing to do.

2016 was a VERY expensive year with $$$$$$$$$ in unexpected expenses, so we had to dip further into our emergency fund than we felt comfortable with so we've been spending the past year or so trying to rebuild it (Slowly. VERY slowly.)

This blog started as my documenting my frugal adventures, even before we made the decision to pay off my student loans and my husband's car. We are now debt free, except for our house, and have even refinanced that into a 15 year mortgage (with 13 left on it).  At one point (before 2016 "ate" it all) we had 6 months worth of living expenses saved up.

With our renewed passion for travel, and our desire to travel with our kids, while staying in our budget, I am getting creative in ways to save and/or make money.  None of these will buy a plane ticket on their own, but they add up over time.

Little things add up to big things. My little things:

I am not going to the grocery store except for milk and fresh fruit for the foreseeable future as I want to save as much money as possible by eating through our pantry.

I am using Shopkicks to earn gift cards to Target and Starbucks (there are MANY more stores available, but these are the ones I use). I don't make special trips to the store for kicks because I don't want to waste the time or gas, but if I'm there I will take a few minutes to go on a scavenger hunt to scan products. These "kicks" add up quickly and in about a year I have earned $55 in Starbucks gift cards and $100 in Target gift cards! No, this won't get me overseas but it's a nice way to save on things I would already buy at Target (or a way to get a Starbucks treat without spending any money).

I am a using Swagbucks to earn Amazon gift cards.  I earn points by searching the internet, doing surveys, watching videos, etc.  I can exchange these points for Amazon gift cards. Again, I won't get rich (or be able to buy a plane ticket) but every $5 I earn in Amazon money is $5 I can add to our travel budget.

Because we use cash envelopes for our grocery budget and for our "fun" money (my husband and I each get a set amount each pay period for things like lunches out, coffees, non-budgeted entertainment, etc.) I tend to end up with a lot of spare change. Each day my husband and I empty our spare change into a bowl and then I wrap the coins and deposit them in our travel fund once I have enough.  Our credit union doesn't charge me to deposit rolled coin so it's an easy way to build savings without feeling it.

Finally, when I do my online shopping at places like The Children's Place, Target, LOFT, etc. I do it by first going to ShopAtHome.com.  I signed up in 2011 and have earned $363.15 back! I'm still able to use promo codes from my favorite retailers AND I get cash back for doing it!

What are creative ways you save money?

Where to start?

After I started dreaming on Sunday night about giving our kids the world and traveling with them I spent a good portion of Monday trying to figure out how we could make it work to spend Fall Break visiting our two Compassion kids in the Dominican Republic. I started researching flights and rental apartments.  The Dominican Republic is home to our oldest Compassion child (Luis) and our longest sponsored child (Naidelin).  Luis is getting ready to graduate in December so I'm feeling the crunch of visiting him before he graduates.

My husband and I both know we don't want to stay at one of the large resorts that are popping up in the country, especially in Punta Cana, which is about an hour's drive from Naidelin. If we are going to give our kids the world, and the experience of traveling, we want to give them a real cultural experience. No matter where we go we want to stay away from areas designed for North American/Western tourists and go where the locals go.  As it is, when my husband and I travel, we avoid chain restaurants whenever possible and try to find "hole in the wall" places where locals eat. We prefer to rent an apartment at our destination rather than a hotel room. First of all, it makes much more economic sense to stay in an apartment rather than a hotel, and secondly we get to meet locals that way and see the area through their eyes. We know that when traveling, especially to a Third World country, that if we were to stick to the touristy areas and resorts we might as well stay home in our middle class bubble.

While I know that it is extremely unlikely we'd be able to make it to the Dominican Republic this fall, before Luis graduates, it was fun to do some online exploring Monday to get an idea for how much it'll cost to fly our family of 4 from our home in Arizona to Santo Domingo.  I enjoyed looking through homes to rent and getting to know the neighborhoods of the Dominican Republic.

I'm back!

Well, I'm back. I've been wanting to get back to writing for awhile, but didn't really know if I had anything worth reading.

Well . . . over the weekend a few things happened and I've, once again, been bitten by the travel bug.  Actually, I was bitten years ago, but suburban life with a husband, 2 kids, a dog, etc. have suppressed it for awhile, but now that our kids are 10 & 8 they're old enough to be great travel companions so . . . we're going to go for it! We're going to bypass the Disney vacation I've been wanting to take our kids on and give them experiences they'll remember for the rest of their lives.

Right now, we're in the earliest stages of dreaming about showing our kids the world. Though plans may change, right now our first thought is to visit our Compassion kids. We have 9 kids throughout the world so it's unlikely we'll visit all of them BUT 2 of our kids live in the Dominican Republic so we'll probably start there.  Last night my husband and I were dreaming of Kenya, where 3 of our girls live, but the more I started thinking about it, the more I started thinking that our kids' first international trip should be a bit closer to home (though Kenya is still very much on the list).

This blog started with me chronicling my frugal adventures, and our budget is already pretty much trimmed of extras, so I'm not sure where else we can cut to make it happen, but I'm willing to try.

We're a single income family and I've already started thinking that getting a job might be the easiest/best way to pay for all of the adventures we want to take, but I don't know of anything that will work with our family schedule.

I will be using this blog to chronicle our planning process, and once we're able to start traveling, I plan on using this blog to document our experiences! 

New life . . .

This time of year has always made me sentimental and it's not just because the sights, the sounds, and the smells of the season tend to bring a sense of nostalgia with them.  Somehow these first two weeks of December mark some of the most significant beginnings of my life.

Recently I was reminded that it was on Sunday, December 11, 1995 that I made my public profession of faith by being baptized as a 19 year old college sophomore at my first church home.

It was the beginning of December, 2002 that my husband and I started dating.  14 years later I still smile when I think of the significant dates this month that mark the beginning of our story. I see our early days played out as I decorate our tree.

Just last week I was volunteering at the Compassion Experience, which was being held across the street from my last apartment. I knew my husband was interested in me when he left his parents' home early on Thanksgiving weekend to help me move in to that apartment. Less than 2 weeks later he picked me up for our first date at that apartment.  One year later he helped me move out of that apartment, but by then I was wearing a ring on my left hand and he was helping me move in with my parents for the last 3 months before our wedding.

It was the first week of December, 2005 that 2 lines on a home pregnancy test told my husband and I that we were going to be parents.  9 months later our firstborn arrived in dramatic fashion.

Today, on Saturday, December 10, 2016 our son, the one whose arrival we found out about 11 years ago this month, and whose delivery still has us praising God for the way things turned out that day, will make his own public profession of faith and be baptized.  He will be baptized by my husband and I, on the same stage we got married on nearly 13 years ago.  As my husband and I baptize our son  tonight, friends and family will celebrate, including my husband's former youth pastor, who baptized my husband 35+ years ago, who was one of the pastors who performed our wedding, and who is now the Senior Pastor at our church.

As we prepare our hearts and minds for Christmas, and the celebration of Jesus' birth, I'm incredibly thankful for all the new beginnings December brings in my life.

Good Bye 30's . . . Hello 40's!

10 years ago today I woke up to my last day in my 20's.
Today I woke up to my last day in my 30's.

10 years ago I was 6 months pregnant with my firstborn.
Today I have a 9 year old and a 7 year old.

10 years ago this week I traded my Mustang in for my "Mom Car".
Today that car has about 108K miles on it and I'm still driving it.

10 years ago I thought I knew (most of) what I needed to know to be a good parent.
Today I feel like I know less about parenting every day.

10 years ago travel plans were dictated only by vacation time.
Today all travel revolves around the school calendar (and a dog!).


I can't pretend to know what the next 10 years are going to hold but I know how fast these 10 years went and I can imagine:


10 years from now my firstborn will have finished his freshman year of college.

10 years from now my baby will be finishing up her Jr. year of high school and we'll likely spend at least part of the summer visiting colleges.

10 years from now my husband and I will be preparing for an empty nest.


Most of my 30's are a blur because they were spent raising young kids and I wouldn't trade that blur for sanity (most days).  I'll be turning 50 before I know it so my goal for my 40's is to slow down and enjoy the ride.

Raising Grateful Kids: A Review

It's been a long time since Dr. Hoffman required book reviews during college and 20 years later I don't remember the proper format since I don't know if I've written one since earning my degree, but as with everything else in the digital age the rules have certainly changed, so I'm just going to hope Dr. Hoffman isn't reading this.

When I found out Kristen Welch was coming out with a new book, on gratitude & entitlement I couldn't wait to read it.  I have long been a fan of Kristen's blog We Are THAT Family, her work founding both The Mercy House and Fair Trade Friday, as well as her book Rhinestone Jesus, so I knew I would love this.  In fact, many of my own views on how to encourage gratitude in our home have come from reading Kristen's blog over the years.  More than a year ago Kristen wrote about what their family eats on Mondays and we adopted the same tradition, for the same reason.

I applied to be on the launch team, and was accepted, thinking, "This book is going to be easy for me to read."  I didn't expect the level of conviction I would feel.  (God has REALLY been chipping away at my pride lately).  Kristen's words come from a mom who is in the trenches with a daughter who is in high school, a son who is in middle school, and a daughter who is in elementary school.  Kristen readily admits that she didn't write the book because she has all the answers she wrote it because she doesn't.

The first few chapters were hard to read, and I didn't like them, despite my familiarity with Kristen's work, and knowing where she was coming from.   The reasons I didn't like the first few chapters had nothing to do with Kristen's words and everything to do with my own conviction.  I didn't want to think that, while I was trying to raise grateful kids, the reality is that I have become pretty entitled myself.   In the days that followed reading the opening of the book I started seeing things in my own life that I expected or deserved. As Kristen wrote, "We often buy things not so much because we need them, but because we feel like we deserve them.  We work hard; we owe it to ourselves."  OUCH.

As I continued to read the book, pray, and examine my own heart I was cheering for Kristen as I wrote this. THIS is what I want our family to look like.  I want our family to be counter-cultural, even though I know it's going to be hard.   I want a home that is Christ-centered and focused on the needs of others, rather than our own wants and desires.

More than one friend has commented "This is the book I wish I'd had when my kids were younger."  I can identify with Kristen, and her perspective, because we are in similar places in life.  While her youngest is roughly the same as as my firstborn, she is parenting in the same world of technology and social media that I am.

It is with the greatest confidence that I can say EVERY family in 2016 could benefit from this book, because we can all use a bit more gratitude and a lot less entitlement.

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World is available today!!!

What's Good for the Goose . . .

I know I can't be the only one fighting the "I wants" in my home.  If I were, Kristen Welch of We Are THAT Family wouldn't have needed to write Raising Grateful Kids In An Entitled World . . . a book that has already sold so many copies during the pre-order that they've sold out of the Global Family Kit that was first offered in the pre-sale.

If I'm being honest, my kids aren't the only ones struggling with the wants.  We're doing our best to live simply.  We've prioritized our Compassion children in our budget.   I have helped build homes Amor Ministries.  I have virtually visited the slums of  Nicaragua and the Dominican Republic.  God is seemingly giving me a dose of perspective on a regular basis. While trying to show our kids what it would be like to have to haul water I got a lesson in perspective about a vacation to Disney I'd been holding on to like a god.

Even with all of that I look around my home and I want new cabinets, I want a bathtub I can actually soak in, I want new furniture that wasn't previously owned . . . I want. I want. I want.

Honestly, because we eat nothing but rice and beans once a week, we take our kids to events like the Compassion Experience, because we pray nightly for others, many of whom we've never met, I signed up for the launch team of Raising Grateful Kids in An Entitled World thinking we had a pretty good handle on discouraging entitlement.

What I didn't expect was to be challenged as much as I was.  I looked in the mirror and saw way too much entitlement in me.  While I was expecting my kids to be thankful with what they had, and not ask for more, I wasn't doing the same.   I was comparing myself to others in my upper middle class neighborhood and looking at what I didn't have.   As Kristen so eloquently writes in the book, "If we are going to compare ourselves to those who have more, we must also compare ourselves to those who have less."

 I've been busy telling my kids to focus on those who have less, while I have been too guilty of comparing myself to those who have more.

.  

.

Now that I'm aware of the problem, what am I doing about it?
**We'll continue with what we're doing (rice & beans on Mondays, keeping our kids involved in the lives of our Compassion kids, having the kids help us select toys for our church's Adopt A Family, etc)
**We're going to use the Global Family Kit when it arrives with my pre-ordered copy of Raising Grateful Kids
**We're going to use the Compassion curriculum  Step Into My Shoes that we ordered in November, but haven't touched during the busyness of the past few weeks.
**I am going to continue to read and re-read Raising Grateful Kids
**I am going to continue to pray God shows me my own entitlement and help me root it out

How are you fighting entitlement in your family?


Want more ideas of how others are battling entitlement and pointing their families to gratitude? My fellow bloggers from the Raising Grateful Kids In An Entitled World launch team are participating in a blog hop today!Inspiring an Attitude of Gratitude - by Alison

Raising Grateful Kids - by amanda

Why You Can't Buy Gratitude At The Dollar Store - by Andrea

Missing - Gratefulness in our home - by AngeChoosing Gratitude - by Angela

Gratefullness - by chaley

5 Steps to Gratitude-Fille Family - by Christa

Practicing Grateful Parenting - by Dana

Sing a Song - by Hannah

Cultivating gratitude in our family - by Jamie

Gratefulness In Our Home - by Jana

Gratefulness In Our Home - by Jana

Let It Begin With Me - by Jen

Choosing Gratefulness - by Jennifer

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World - The Book - by jeri

Eradicating Entitlement - What are you rooted in? - by Jessica

Gratefulness in our home - by Kate

The Problem With Entitlement is that it begins with us - by Katelyn

7 Unusual Ways I Know How to Be Grateful - by Kathryn

Raising Grateful Kids - by Keri

How My Children Remind Me to Pray with Gratitude - by Kishona Grateful - by Kristy

Entitlement: The Ugly Truth of a Beautiful Lie - by Leigha

The Most Important Thing You Can Do To Raise Grateful Kids - by Lindsey

Dear Son: How Do I Teach You To Be Grateful Without Guilt? - by Marie Osborne

Gratitude, A Practical Definition - by Mia

Cultivating Gratitude in Our Home - by Nancy

Learning Gratitude through Chronic Illness - by Rachel

Being Grateful - by Rebecca

I've Found Something I Can't Live Without - by Sarah

The Power of Naming our Gifts - by Sarah

Outfitted - by Sarah Jo

Growing Gratitude in our Family - by Sondra

Teaching Gratefulness - by Stephanie

How Grateful Looks From Here - by Alison

Fighting Entitlement in Children and All of us - by Leah

Entitlement Problem - by Karrie

Grateful Today - by Krystal

What's The Word?

I've never been one who has had a "Word of the Year."  There's no reason I haven't, other than it just hasn't been my thing.

I'm in a private Facebook group of amazing Christian women who have become precious to me.  As 2015 drew to a close several ladies were talking about their word for 2016 and had said God gave their word to them.   I said I had never prayed and asked for a word, nor had a given it much thought, but after 2015, which was the hardest year of my life, to date I chose the word "healing" for myself.  Basically every aspect of my life needs God to touch it and heal it.  While 2015 seems to be marked by struggle, I want 2016 to be marked with healing.

A few days later I truly believe God gave me a different word: Simple

In the past 6-9 months I've spent a lot of time pondering the Ghandi quote, "Live simply, so that other may simply live."  The more I spend on myself, and my own wants, the less I have to spend on others.  Conversely, the less I spend on my wants, the more I have to meet the needs of others.

This summer I talked about how I am am uncomfortably comfortable and I have continued to wrestle with the things I wrote there.  This is a journey, and I don't know if I will have ever arrived in this life.

I don't know when I started, but I recently began using the hashtag #SpendLessGiveMore in my social media posts as it seemed like the best way to condense the Ghandi quote into less than 140 characters.

It's not just about money, though.  As I explained to a friend when we were talking about our words of the year:

My simplicity is about so much more than money.

I want to simplify ALL areas of my life so I can savor and enjoy the best parts of it.  I'm cutting out all the extras.  I'm cutting out the stuff "people" tell me our family needs.  I'm not doing what Pinterest or other social media formats tell me I *should* be doing--I'm living simply and intentionally.

I want to have energy at the end of the day and at at the end of the week to invest in those I love and the things I'm passionate about.  I don't want to give the best of me to something that's not eternal.

So, 2016 will be the year I ask myself, "Is this eternal?" before I spend my time, energy or resources on something.

After losing our friend I'm even more focused on how short life is. I want to invest the best of me now.  My oldest is 9.  He has lived almost half of his life under our roof already . . . we only have about 9 more years with him at home.  These past 9 years have gone in a blur.   I want to live each of these next 9 years pouring into him--the same with my 7 year old.  It's only 11 years until she launches into the "real world".  I'm simplifying our lives to maximize time together.

Hard Things Are Hard

It's been a hard few months, which is why I've been absent.

My last published post in August described a rough week.  Within days of that post my neighbor and our friend's brother passed away.  One left this life on Wednesday and the other on Thursday.

Since then life has been even harder. I've written this blog several times in my head.  Even 2.5 months later I'm having a hard time.

On October 19 one of our best friends died suddenly.  His name is Hal Shrader.  My husband and Hal grew up in the same church together and knew each other for over 40 years.  Their youth pastor when they were growing up is now the Senior Pastor at my church and his tribute is still one of my favorites.

My husband and Hal grew up together, but it wasn't until they were in their 20's and out of college they became close.  My husband's first "real job" out of college moved him to the same town in CA where Hal had just moved with his new wife, Chrisie, which happened to be her home town.  During those years in CA the two of them spent a lot of time together and my husband was "adopted" into the extended family.  Chrisie's parents brought my husband into their fold and were his "CA parents".   My husband eventually came back to AZ, but the two kept in touch.  Among other things, when we got married Hal & Cal Jernigan (our church's Senior Pastor) performed our wedding.  Hal's daughters were our flower girls.  Our kids call the Shraders Uncle Hal & Aunt Chrisie.  Hal's grandmother inspired my Just A Mom post several years ago that caused me to think of motherhood as my ministry.

On October 8 my son had his tonsils removed.  On October 10 Hal & Chrisie came over to see the patient and to bring him a "get well" toy.  Hal and my 9 year old built a Darth Vader Lego set while my husband and I visited with Chrisie.   That was the last time we saw Hal. My husband was texting him at about 11am Monday, October 19 and by dinner that night he was gone.

Hal's funeral was Friday, October 30.   The next Wednesday I was home with my daughter while my husband and son were at Cub Scouts.  I was reading a tribute to Hal when my phone rang and I saw it was my dad.  I don't know the last time my dad called me (he usually texts) and my immediate thought was, "God, no.  I can't take another one of these phone calls."   My dad was calling me, on behalf of my mom, to say that my maternal grandma had died suddenly.  She wasn't feeling well that morning, took a nap and never woke up.

Needless to say it's been a hard season.   Until 2015 I'd been relatively unaffected by death and hadn't lost anyone close to me.  The relatives who had died previously were ones that either died when I was young (as is the case with my paternal grandfather who died 3 weeks before I turned 5) or were people like my Great Grandparents who lived far away and who I didn't know well.  

All of my grandparents live(d) in Southern California and in June we took a "Grandparents Tour" where we visited my 3 living grandparents over a 4 day period.  I'm glad we did since I am now down to 2 grandparents.

My husband and I had talked about how, since I'd reached 39 with a limited exposure to death, that when my grandparents started dying I would probably have a lot to deal with in a relatively short period of time (My Tutu, who recently passed was 86.  My maternal grandfather is 87 & my maternal grandmother is 85) and that it would hit me hard.  Because of Hal & my Tutu dying less than 3 weeks apart my introduction to the grieving process has been intense to say the least.  Both deaths were sudden (well, as sudden as you can expect from a woman who has lived 86 years).

A Brutifal Weekend

"Brutifal" is defined by Glennon Doyle Melton of the Momestary blog as a combination of brutal & beautiful.  While it's not found in the Oxford dictionary I think it's the best way to describe the past few days.

Thursday--My oldest turned 9! YAY!

Friday morning--I woke up to the news that someone we know from church lost their son, who hadn't yet reached his second birthday, to a battle with pediatric cancer

Friday early afternoon--I checked Facebook after having lunch with my husband and found an update on a friend's younger brother who is terminally ill and has been fighting brain cancer for years.  The update wasn't good.  This young husband/father/son/brother/cousin/uncle/nephew is most likely not long for this earth.  This young man's family is extremely special to us and we are grieving alongside them

Friday afternoon, 3pm--I was leaving to pick my kids up from school with the home health nurse who cares for the woman across the street told me that she has entered into the last phase before death and to expect her to pass this weekend

Saturday afternoon--We were leaving for a Saturday evening service at church when the home health nurse from across the street told us the family would like us to be there when the priest came to give our neighbor her last rites.  Our plans changed, and instead of heading to church we spent the evening with our neighbor's family. We cried at her bedside as the priest prayed for her. We looked through her wedding album with her adult daughter.  We talked baseball with her adult son.  We listened to stories from her husband of 50+ years.  We sat and watched football with her brother.  We visited with a friend of hers she's had for 53 years.

Sunday morning---After a fitful night of sleep spent praying for our neighbor's family I was woken up by my 9 year old telling me his little sister's fish had died.

Sunday mid-morning--As I left to do last minute birthday party errands the nurse across the street told me our neighbor is still hanging on, but her time is coming quickly.

Sunday afternoon--We spent several hours with a pool full of 8 & 9 year old boys celebrating our son with his friends

It's currently 4pm Sunday and at 7:30 tonight my niece is checking into the hospital to have labor induced as she and her husband  are expecting their 1st child.  This will be my sister-in-law's 4th grandchild.  God willing they'll welcome the newest member of the family in the next few hours.

Some weekends are brutal.  Some weekends are beautiful.   This one was both.

Shopping With A Purpose!

Nothing fancy, but a quick blog, inspired by a friend's Facebook post last night about Gospel centered Fair Trade items made by artisans around the world.  Most of these (but, admittedly not all) are non-profits so the money goes directly to the artisans and there are no "middle men" taking a cut.

Here are a few I'm aware of.  Please leave comments below with others so you can help spread the word!

I've mentioned my love for the Fair Trade Friday subscription club.  There are 2 options: a monthly box with 3-4 items inside and an Earring of the Month option.   I LOVE all of my Fair Trade Friday items and love having thoughtful gifts on hand to give to family and friends.

Many of the groups below are ones I've discovered through my Fair Trade Friday subscription box.  I have shopped from several of these groups after discovering their purpose!

By shopping from these groups you are empowering women, providing men with dignified work, helping break the cycle of poverty and, in some cases, providing education!

Happy Shopping!

The Refugee Project--The Refugee Project is in Houston, TX and is made up from artisans from all over the world who have been relocated to the United States by the United Nations.  You can read the stories of many of the ladies who are hand crocheting items on the site.  I gave my niece and her husband a handmade baby blanket as they wait to meet their 1st child in August!

JOYN--After receiving several items from Joyn in my Fair Trade Friday box I have placed orders for other items.  I now have headbands, scarves, a key chain and a clutch from JOYN.  I also have given scarves and headbands as gifts.  JOYN is located in Northern India, at the base of the Himalayas.  One of the things I love about Joyn is that they tell you the names of each of the artisans involved in creating the product.  I save all of my tags so that I can pray for the heart of the ones who have made the items I love so much.

One of my favorite ministries is The Mercy House, a maternity home for girls in Kenya who have become pregnant due to heartbreaking situations.  In fact, Fair Trade Friday was born as a ministry of The Mercy House!  The Mercy House has an online shop  where you can purchase items that support the ministry. Several of the items are made by the residents of the home.  I have necklaces, bracelets and even the framed Africa picture.


Amazima Ministries--Amazima was founded by Katie Davis, author of Kisses From Katie.  Items are made by artisans in Jinga, Uganda.

Rahab's Rope--Shop at Rahab's Rope to help stop human trafficking

Village Artisan-

No.41

Mercy Goods

Tukula--One of the items I received in my Fair Trade Friday box from Tukula included a tag saying it was made by Susan in Jinga, Uganda and her picture is on the tag.

Grain of Rice Project

Timbali Crafts

Caring for Korah

Shop With A Mission

Free Set Gobal

3 Cords Haiti

MadeNewCo.

Reclaimed Project

Root Collective

Ruhuma Designs---A group that rescues minors who have been sold into commercial prostitution.  The items in the store have been made by these girls.

Where'd you get that?

You know how it goes . . . you wear something cute and your friend asks "I love that necklace! Where'd you get it?"  She's asking because she wants it, too! Isn't this one of the highest compliments we give each other?

If you've seen me in the past year I've most likely wearing something I received from my membership in Fair Trade Friday.   If you've asked me about it, I've probably shared my passion for the subscription club and I may've even told you the names of the artisan(s) who made it!  See, each month I receive 3-4 items made by artisans around the world. Many of the items have the names of the person (or people) who were made it.  For example, one of the items I received from FTF came from JOYN.  The fabric was handwoven by Noel, block printed by Raju and stitched by Pema.  I save all of the tags so I can pray for the people who made my favorite items.

Some of these items I've kept for myself (I'm a sucker for necklaces and bracelets) and others I've given as gifts.  Even if it doesn't see the light of day (which wouldn't happen because this stuff is too cute!) the purpose of my items have already been fulfilled because the person making it has earned a fair wage and is able to support their family with dignity.  In a world where many of the items are made by slave labor it's freeing to know that these items are not.

In addition to the original Fair Trade Friday Club there's also an Earring of the Month Club if earrings are your thing. Whether you love earrings or love giving them as gifts this is a fashionable way to add to your jewelry wardrobe each month with a unique piece that is changing the world for an artisan and her family!

Because I can't keep a good secret and because I love to share I'm giving away this pair of earrings from Fair Trade Friday!

Enter below to win these gorgeous earrings from Earring of the Month Club will run from July 6, 2015- July 13, 2015! Good luck!

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Uncomfortably comfortable

The past few months (years?) God has really been working on my heart and mind.  I've wanted to write this blog for that long, but have been overwhelmed as to where to start.  Entire books have been written on the subject and sometimes I wonder if my post has anything to add to the discussion.  I have held on to this post for years because of fear--fear of being misunderstood. Fear of letting my left hand know what my right hand was doing when talking about these issues.

Here are the things I'm thinking:

**I'm uncomfortable with much of American culture.

**I'm uncomfortable with the desire for "more".

What am I doing with these verses?

"I tell you the truth.  Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine [those who are hungry, thirsty, in need of clothes, sick or in prison] you did for me." -Jesus  (Matthew 25:40)
What have I done for Jesus TODAY by helping the hungry, the thirsty, the one in prison, the one in need of clothes? What have I done in the past? What will I do tomorrow?

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.  What good is it for a man to gain the whole world and yet lose or forfeit his very self?"--Jesus (Luke 9:23-25) What does denying myself look like? What if I denied myself the desire to eat out and gave that money to a cause close to Jesus' heart? What if I denied myself a new shirt I really don't need (but want) and clothed someone else?

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27 What have I done TODAY to look after widows and orphans in their distress? Have I become polluted by the world? Is my faith accepted by God as pure and faultless?

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."--Jesus (Luke 12:48b) 
I have food to eat and a roof over my head, therefore I have been given much.  Am I giving much? Much has been asked and demanded of me . . . am I doing what I've been told? Am I doing all I've been asked to do or is there more I should be doing?

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."  Philippians 2:3&4 Is my desire to look cute selfish and vain? Am I considering others better than myself when I spend money on my wants (not needs)? Am I looking to the interests of others?

But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?" 1 John 3:17 Does God's love abide in me? Have I closed my heart against those in need? 

"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters [residents] were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me.  Therefore I did away with them as you have seen."  Ezekiel 16:50 If God destroyed Sodom, in part because the citizens were overfed, unconcerned and didn't help the poor and the needy what does that mean for me?

Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.  Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. Psalm 82:3&4 
Am I defending the cause of the week and fatherless? Am I maintaining the rights of the poor and the oppressed?  Am I rescuing the week and the needy from the hand of the wicked?

Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.  Do not say to your neighbor, 'Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow' when you now have it with you.  Proverbs 3:27& 28|
Am I withholding good from those who deserve it? Am I telling those in need to come back later? What have/am I doing TODAY?

He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God." Proverbs 14:31
Am I being kind to the needy by God's standards? Does God see me as oppressing the poor? Not everything I buy is Fair Trade.  Most of the clothes in my closet come from discount stores so I know that they were probably made by slaves.  What does God say about that? [Two of many articles on the issue from Christianity Today and Forbes .  Both have wrecked me (and kept me out of the mall).]

"Love the Lord your god with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" --Jesus  Matthew 22:37-40
Am I loving my neighbor as myself when I take my family out to dinner, but know others can't afford food?  Am I loving my neighbor as myself when I'm spending most of my time, talents and resources on myself?

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do no destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
Am I more concerned about storing up my treasures on earth (a house worthy of HGTV or Pinterest, fashionable clothes, a nice car, fabulous vacations, etc) than I am about storing up treasures in heaven?

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other.  You cannot serve both God and money."--Jesus  Matthew 6:24
Am I attempting to serve two masters? If push came to shove would I choose God over material comforts?


These are just SOME of the questions I'm wrestling with.  Here's what I know: If I can afford to spend $50 a month on eating out I can afford $38/mo to sponsor a child through Compassion International. If I can afford my son's baseball registration fees I can help a mother & her baby in Kenya through Mercy House.  If I can afford to save for a vacation I can afford $30/month to buy gifts and accessories through Fair Trade Friday to support artisans around the world.

One of my regular prayers is, "God, show us how to be better stewards of what you've given us.  We know EVERYTHING we have is from You.  We know NOTHING we have is for us to hoard for ourselves.  We know You've commanded us to love others.  We know You've demanded much from us, because much has been given to us.  What do you want us to do with what You've given us?"

Money is finite.  I get that, but I also know that love is sacrifice.  What am I sacrificing to show others God's love?

Why I already know what my kids are getting for high school graduation!

Ok . . . my kids are only 8 & 6.  High school graduation isn't for another 10 & 12 years, BUT I already have their graduation gifts purchased! I'm not a "buy Christmas presents on December 23" person, but neither am I a "I have all my gifts purchased in January for next year." person So . . . what would prompt me to buy gifts in March, 2015 or events that won't happen until May, 2025 and May 2027????

A few days ago I was at a luncheon with Moms in Prayer leaders from all over Phoenix area.

We had several speakers who talked about the 4 steps of prayer we use in MIP: Praising God for who He is, Thanking God for what He has giving us, Confession, and Intercession.  While at Moms in Prayer we pray the Scriptures over our kids, their teachers, and their schools.

One of the speakers is now an "empty nester" whose kids aren't in school any longer, but she continues to gather with the same ladies who have been praying for their kids for 20+ years.  This sweet woman has now been "promoted" to grandma.  The woman who spoke to us moms still "in the trenches" said that 3x (one for each of her kids) she put her "regular" Bible down and picked up one for her child.  That Bible was the only Bible she used that year.  As she read through the Bible that year she marked it up with highlights and made notes in it for her child as she prayed the Scriptures for that child.  This woman did this for each of her kids and now plans to do it for each of her grandkids.

The woman said she gave each of her kids their marked up, prayed over, Bible and they now consider it one of their most prized possessions  (along with the quilt she made for each of them of their dad's old shirts, since their dad is now with Jesus).  I absolutely LOVED the idea and decided to do it for each of my kids.   Because my kids are 8 & 6 I don't think they'd truly appreciate the gift at this age, but I was thinking high school graduation would be an amazing time to present it to them!

I heard this on Friday and bought the kids each a Bible on Monday to get this project started.

For my kids I'm modifying it slightly . . . I will still use "my" Bible for things like church where my kids will see it.  I have my kids' new Bibles hidden so that they won't see them, yet.  I know my kids well enough to know that if they see me reading a new one they'll wonder why and I don't want to spill the secret, yet.

I am starting with my 8 year old's Bible since he'll graduate first! I am using a Bible in One Year reading plan on my phone to track my progress.  I am reading in his paper Bible, but am using the app to track my progress and give me a schedule.  Right now my son's Bible is tucked into my nightstand drawer while my daughter's is hidden in my closet.

As soon as I got back from the meeting on Friday I posted the idea on my Facebook page and several friends liked it, and some said they were going to start it.   After I bought the Bibles Monday I shared a picture on Facebook and Instagram of the Bibles I'd purchased.

Over the weekend a friend asked what kids of things I was writing in the Bible.  I'm basically highlighting and taking notes the way I would for myself.  I am also writing notes to my son with the prayers I am praying for him as I read.  For example, after reading Psalm 1 Psalm 1 I wrote "We pray you will not walk in step with the wicked.  We pray your delight will be in God's word.  We pray you will be like a tree planted in streams of water whose leaf does not wither."  Not every prayer will be able to be written out like that, due to space constraints, but that's an example.   As I am reading through Proverbs I am highlighting a lot since there is a lot of wisdom in there :)

I can't think of a better way to send our kids off to college than with the knowledge than seeing what Mom prayed for them as they were growing up.

P.S. If you know my kids . . . PLEASE don't mention this! It's a surprise! 

My Football Dilemma

Well . . . after about a year off I'm back :)  I made a short venture into being self hosted and that didn't work for me so I'm back here at home :)

The NFL season begins its 3rd week tonight.  The Arizona Cardinals are 2-0 and in 1st place in their division.  This weekend the hometown Cards are playing the San Francisco 49ers.  Every year this matchup causes a problem for me.

I was born in Orange County, CA, but moved to San Jose in 1982, when I was in Kindergarten.  We moved back to Orange County in 1988, when I was in 6th grade.  Living in San Jose when I did it became natural  to be a 49ers fan.  Every little boy I knew was Joe Montana for Halloween.  Hearing "Montana to Rice . . . TOUCHDOWN" was routine.

When we moved back to Orange County we were only a few minutes from Anaheim Stadium, where the LA Rams played.  My mom worked at a bank and some of the customers she got to know played for the Rams.  Eventually my sister and I started babysitting for a few of the players' kids.  The only NFL game I've ever been to was courtesy of one of those players.   I felt an obligation to root for the Rams because they were the local team and because I knew some of them.

In 1994 I graduated high school and moved to Phoenix to attend college.  I moved to Arizona with every intention of moving back to CA the minute I had my diploma.  I still considered myself a CA Girl and declared my devotion to the San Francisco 49ers, especially to my friend who was a Cowboys fan :)

Eventually I settled in Phoenix and made it my home.  I married an Arizona native and have accepted the reality that we're pretty much here to stay (every summer I fantasize about moving, but I know the reality is we're here for the long haul).

Somewhere along the line I started becoming more of an Arizonan and less of a Californian, especially when it comes to my football team.  Eventually I started rooting for the Cardinals.  I found myself watching every game and cheering for the hometown team to do well.   While I still wouldn't put myself in the category of some friends who are hard core Cards fans I find myself becoming more of a fan every season.

I still want the 49ers to do well.  I still want them to do well, as long as it doesn't adversely affect the Cardinals (which since they're in the same division everything they do affects the Cardinals).  When the 49ers made their Super Bowl run a few years ago it was a few days until I got over the pain and was able to congratulate my friend who is a Ravens fan.

I'm in a weird gray area.  The Niners were the team I grew up watching and the Cards are my hometown team.

I don't have this problem with baseball.  I was raised an Angels fan, suffered through some HORRIBLE seasons in the late 80's and 90's, but I've always been an Angels fan.  It helps that the D'backs are in the National League so I can have an AL team and an NL team.

So . . .  Sunday I'll be rooting for the Cards, but won't be too upset if the Niners win.

It's the Little Things

Last week was rough.  It was my first week writing for 8 clients and I felt the work load for the first time.  I know part of what was so crazy was the learning curve of the new position, plus learning how to balance working at home with my responsibilities to my family.  I know both things will take an adjustment period and I'll get there :)

Added to that I ended up being a Thirty-One vendor at my son's school on Friday night.  The school was having their annual "Fall Fest" and decided to combine Fall Fest with their Holiday Boutique.  I committed to being a vendor in September, long before I knew I'd be working.

By Thursday afternoon I was a ball of stress. The learning curve at work meant I'd spent 3 entire days on the computer, and away from my family, without having a lot of billable hours to show for it.  I was extremely edgy and frustrated, plus had to get ready for Friday night's event.

All I could think about all week was getting through Friday night . . .

Friday morning I had two things to do and figured I'd knock them out quickly and actually be able to get to the gym for the first time in nearly a month.  Both things took longer than expected, but I was ok with it because one ended up involving an hour long phone conversation with a friend.  The other was a quick errand that turned into a friend making me lunch and getting some time to chat with her.   The two things I thought would be done by 9:30, leaving me 3 hours until I had to pick up my daughter, took me until 12:30 :)  Like I said, it was all good because there was time to chat with friends in there :)

Friday my husband took a half day of vacation so I could start setting up my booth as soon as I picked my son up from school and dropped him off at home.   My husband also took the kids around to play games while I worked.

The evening was not a great business success.  In fact, I didn't make a single sale.  I'm hoping to follow up and be able to get some parties (or at least some orders) from the people who entered my raffle, but otherwise it was pretty discouraging.  My only consolation was that the vendor fee went to my son's PTO, which is pretty fabulous!

At some point during the week I'd asked on Facebook if anybody in my neighborhood wanted to recommend a reasonably priced hair stylist because I hadn't had my hair cut or highlighted in 6mo and it's driving me crazy.  The lady who normally does my hair is about 30 minutes away and only works Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays so it's nearly impossible for me to see her these days because of my kids' school schedules.

At one point during the evening a friend of mine, who is on the school's PTO (also the one who invited me in for lunch when I stopped by to pick a table up from her that morning) asked me how business was going.  I told her it wasn't going well.

A little while later my wonderful friend said, "I bought you a raffle ticket for a hair cut".  I thought it was extremely sweet since she said she'd seen my Facebook post.

As I was loading my Thirty-One display into my car I saw a friend from my Moms in Prayer group that I hadn't seen all year.  I got to spend some time catching up with her and my heart soared.   Being able to talk to her for the first time since last spring felt WONDERFUL and totally made my night.

After we'd talked for about 30 minutes a lady I know from when our sons were in Kindergarten last year came over and said "Congratulations, girl!".  I didn't know what she was talking about.  She told me I'd won the raffle!!!  I had missed the announcement while talking to my friend!  As I walked to the PTO booth to claim it I ran into the PTO/sandwich making/bought me a raffle ticket friend who had already claimed my prize for me since she thought I'd left :)   The night got even better!!!

After I was holding my prize I telling my friend how excited I was and the back story as to why our mutual friend (my sandwich making friend also is from my MIP group) bought me the raffle ticket and I said, "God cares about my hair!"  She reminded me that God knows every hair on my head and I said, "I know! I just didn't know he cared about the COLOR of it!"

By now I was almost giddy because I was able to visit with a friend I hadn't seen in months AND I won the raffle (I'm absolutely one of those "I never win anything" people)

I finally got home and was able to sit down & rest for the first time all day (seemingly the first time all week).  I fell onto the couch, grabbed my phone and started looking at Facebook.  One of the first messages I saw was a post to a friend's wall saying "Auntie Barb says 'Congratulations'".   That definitely made me curious.   I went to my friend's wall and saw a lot of Congratulations messages.  I was able to figure out what had happened . . . SHE GOT ENGAGED!! :)   This friend was one of my flower girls (along with her sister) when I got married in 2004.  Her dad and my husband grew up together.   My husband was at the hospital the day she was born.  She calls my husband "Uncle".   Her dad is a pastor and performed our wedding.  Her mom is a good friend of mine.  Her Great-Grandma's legacy inspires me.  Words can't express how THRILLED I was for her.

I went into the office where my husband was on the computer and told him she'd gotten engaged.  Since he held her the day she was born I knew he'd want to know.  As soon as I told him I went to sit back down.  I hadn't even made my way to the couch when my phone rang.  Caller ID said it was my friend, the soon-to-be-Mother-of-the-Bride.  I picked up the phone saying "Hello Mother-of-the Bride! I just saw on Facebook!"  I was greeted with "Well, actually . . . it's the Bride!"  She had called us herself because she wanted us to know :)   Her mom was able to witness her daughter's engagement so she used her mom's phone after her battery had run out making other calls.

In just an hour my Friday evening went from discouraging to one of the best nights in a long time :)  

Unexpected Blessing

When I was single people used to tell me "The One" would come along when I least expected it.  I didn't believe them, but at a low point in my life, in God's perfect timing,  I met my husband.

My youngest is currently in preschool three mornings a week and will be starting Kindergarten in August, 2014.  From the time we were dating my husband and I agreed on the importance of Mom staying home while the kids were young.  During those early talks (since we started dating at 26 and 36 our conversations on our first few dates sounded more like job interviews talking about everything from money management to disciplining kids) we had talked about Mom working outside of the home once the youngest went to Kindergarten.  (Both of our moms did that)

Once I quit my last job with a paycheck in 2006 to stay home with our oldest I had presumed I'd be heading back to work eventually.  I studied education, but know I don't want to teach full time.  Though it's not necessarily something I want to do, I've long thought that substituting would be the perfect fit for me, where I could have flexible hours and have the same schedule as my kids.

As our youngest has grown my husband and I have talked about my future employment status at length.  As far as my husband is concerned he would be ok if I didn't go back to work because we both think it's important that I'm the one who takes the kids to school, pick them up and is home with them after school.  (We don't have bus service in our neighborhood so someone would have to take them to and from school every day). We also knew that, with most jobs, we would have to scramble for child care on days the kids had early release or school breaks.  When my oldest was in Kindergarten last year I realized how much I enjoyed volunteering in his classroom and seeing what was happening at school with my own eyes so being able to continue that through the years became important as well.

Because I do most of our day-to-day money management I have often wished there was a way for me to bring in some extra income while still being fully available to my family.  Since 2009 I have been a consultant with Thirty-One Gifts, but I haven't been able to do turn that into a steady source of income without taking away from family time in the evenings or weekends.

I wasn't looking for a job last week, but when a friend texted me a few days ago asking me if I'd be interested in working for the same company she does by doing social media marketing from home 10-15 hours a week it became something that felt like the perfect fit.  After talking to my husband, praying about it, and talking to a few other friends who work from home while caring for young kids I decided to persue the position.  I submitted my resume and a writing sample to the owner of the company yesterday afternoon and she offered me the position.  I will start training Friday morning.

This is all very sudden, but it feels absolutely right.  For quite a while I have looked at my friend (who is now my co-worker) and thought "I would love to do what she's doing".  I'm obviously very familiar with social media and have long been fascinated by marketing.  I love to write and started this blog because of that love.

This new adventure will allow me to combine many of the things I enjoy while bringing in an income and not taking away from my responsibilities to my family! It's a win/win/win situation that could only come from God!

I'm praising God for this opportunity and am very excited about seeing where this leads . . .

A Month In . . .

Well . . . it's been about a month since I started going to the fitness center in my neighborhood..   I'm proud to say I've been going most days that my daughter is in preschool and it's becoming a habit!  Some life stuff has prevented me from going every day, but it's progress and a HUGE step in the right direction.

Wednesday I had my worst workout since I began.  Less than 1 mile in I started having problems with my shins, my calves and my hips.  I slowed my walking pace down all the way to 2.7mph for the remaining 15 minutes I had on the treadmill.  I whined all over Facebook about how much it stunk.  I whined on the Heidi's @ Home Facebook page, I whined on Another Housewife's Facebook page and I whined on Twitter. I whined A LOT.

Finally, Jenniemarie from Another Housewife responded to my whines by saying, "Heidi  (said in my most serious mommy voice). Please get go get fitted for shoes. You don't have to buy them there. Just get fitted for what show is best for you and then you can shop around for price. Also get familiar with the term R.I.C.E. (Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevate.) I would suggest purchasing a pair of compression sleeves/socks-they really help. Make stretching a priority-trust me. Most importantly PLEASE, PLEASE do not compare yourself to anyone else. You kept moving for 45 MINUTES, celebrate it. Okay, stepping off my mommy soap box now."

Well . . . because I'm a compliant child I took Jenniemarie's advice.  I went and got fitted for shoes this morning.


I'll be upgrading from doing my workouts in these street shoes


to these actual running shoes!






I'm looking forward to them arriving and some pain free miles on the treadmill!

Persecution

One year ago today an American citizen was imprisoned in Iran.  Saeed Abedini is currently being kept in Evin Prison. In this letter to his wife Saeed describes the conditions he has been experiencing.  Pastor Saeed has been sentenced to 8 years in Evin.

Saeed is a father with young children he has not seen in over a year.  Recently Saeed's daughter received a letter from her dad that has been made public.

Saeed's plight has been a topic of conversation in our home many times in the past year.  Saeed's name is on one of the sticks we pick each night to pray for at the dinner table.  My daughter has been praying for Saeed nightly, just before I tuck her into bed.  Every night she prays, "God help Saeed to get out of jail and help the polices be nicer in Iran."

Today Christians are gathering all over the world for a prayer vigil where they will be praying for Saeed's release.

Saeed is not the only Christian in the world who is being persecuted for his faith.  www.persecution.org is a wealth of information about the ways Christians all over the world are being arrested, tortured and murdered for their faith in Jesus.

Since the earliest days of the Christian church there has been persecution.  Stephen was the first martyr and his murder is described in Acts 7:54-8:3.  In a move only God can do, a Pharisee by the name of Saul was present at Stephen's stoning.  Saul met Jesus on the road to Damascus and his conversion was so dramatic that God changed his name to Paul.   Paul went on to write most of the New Testament and wrote of his own persecution for his faith.

I can't think of Saeed without thinking of the parallels to Paul, including the fact they both came to faith in Christ as adults and have spent their adult lives preaching the Gospel.

As I pray for Saeed I'm reminded of Paul's letter to the church in Philippi.  "Now, I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel.  As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ." Philippians 1: 12-13

Really, I could copy Philippians 1:12-30 as a guidebook on how to handle persecution.   Just as Paul continued to preach the gospel to his captors (a captive audience!) so has Saeed.

As the global church gathers today to pray for Saeed I'm praying for his release and also praying for him to have the strength to endure the conditions he's currently experiencing, knowing God is using his life even in Evin prison.

Midnight Rambler

I'm just going to be flat out honest . . .  I'm having a rough night emotionally.  I'm basically throwing myself a pity party.

A friend's daughter was injured in an accident at home over the weekend and I just can't stop praying for her and her family right now.

On top of that I've been doing a lot of introspection and most of it hasn't been good.  The truth is I just wish I could wave some sort of magic wand and have all my shortcomings, failures and idiosyncrasies vanish.  Those qualities I don't like about myself and that others don't either . . .  I want them GONE.

I guess the truth is I've been thinking a lot about my relationship troubles with friends and family and don't know how to fix what's "wrong" with me.  I don't even know specifically what's wrong---I just know something is and I want it changed.