It's been a hard few months, which is why I've been absent.
My last published post in August described a rough week. Within days of that post my neighbor and our friend's brother passed away. One left this life on Wednesday and the other on Thursday.
Since then life has been even harder. I've written this blog several times in my head. Even 2.5 months later I'm having a hard time.
On October 19 one of our best friends died suddenly. His name is Hal Shrader. My husband and Hal grew up in the same church together and knew each other for over 40 years. Their youth pastor when they were growing up is now the Senior Pastor at my church and his tribute is still one of my favorites.
My husband and Hal grew up together, but it wasn't until they were in their 20's and out of college they became close. My husband's first "real job" out of college moved him to the same town in CA where Hal had just moved with his new wife, Chrisie, which happened to be her home town. During those years in CA the two of them spent a lot of time together and my husband was "adopted" into the extended family. Chrisie's parents brought my husband into their fold and were his "CA parents". My husband eventually came back to AZ, but the two kept in touch. Among other things, when we got married Hal & Cal Jernigan (our church's Senior Pastor) performed our wedding. Hal's daughters were our flower girls. Our kids call the Shraders Uncle Hal & Aunt Chrisie. Hal's grandmother inspired my Just A Mom post several years ago that caused me to think of motherhood as my ministry.
On October 8 my son had his tonsils removed. On October 10 Hal & Chrisie came over to see the patient and to bring him a "get well" toy. Hal and my 9 year old built a Darth Vader Lego set while my husband and I visited with Chrisie. That was the last time we saw Hal. My husband was texting him at about 11am Monday, October 19 and by dinner that night he was gone.
Hal's funeral was Friday, October 30. The next Wednesday I was home with my daughter while my husband and son were at Cub Scouts. I was reading a tribute to Hal when my phone rang and I saw it was my dad. I don't know the last time my dad called me (he usually texts) and my immediate thought was, "God, no. I can't take another one of these phone calls." My dad was calling me, on behalf of my mom, to say that my maternal grandma had died suddenly. She wasn't feeling well that morning, took a nap and never woke up.
Needless to say it's been a hard season. Until 2015 I'd been relatively unaffected by death and hadn't lost anyone close to me. The relatives who had died previously were ones that either died when I was young (as is the case with my paternal grandfather who died 3 weeks before I turned 5) or were people like my Great Grandparents who lived far away and who I didn't know well.
All of my grandparents live(d) in Southern California and in June we took a "Grandparents Tour" where we visited my 3 living grandparents over a 4 day period. I'm glad we did since I am now down to 2 grandparents.
My husband and I had talked about how, since I'd reached 39 with a limited exposure to death, that when my grandparents started dying I would probably have a lot to deal with in a relatively short period of time (My Tutu, who recently passed was 86. My maternal grandfather is 87 & my maternal grandmother is 85) and that it would hit me hard. Because of Hal & my Tutu dying less than 3 weeks apart my introduction to the grieving process has been intense to say the least. Both deaths were sudden (well, as sudden as you can expect from a woman who has lived 86 years).
My last published post in August described a rough week. Within days of that post my neighbor and our friend's brother passed away. One left this life on Wednesday and the other on Thursday.
Since then life has been even harder. I've written this blog several times in my head. Even 2.5 months later I'm having a hard time.
On October 19 one of our best friends died suddenly. His name is Hal Shrader. My husband and Hal grew up in the same church together and knew each other for over 40 years. Their youth pastor when they were growing up is now the Senior Pastor at my church and his tribute is still one of my favorites.
My husband and Hal grew up together, but it wasn't until they were in their 20's and out of college they became close. My husband's first "real job" out of college moved him to the same town in CA where Hal had just moved with his new wife, Chrisie, which happened to be her home town. During those years in CA the two of them spent a lot of time together and my husband was "adopted" into the extended family. Chrisie's parents brought my husband into their fold and were his "CA parents". My husband eventually came back to AZ, but the two kept in touch. Among other things, when we got married Hal & Cal Jernigan (our church's Senior Pastor) performed our wedding. Hal's daughters were our flower girls. Our kids call the Shraders Uncle Hal & Aunt Chrisie. Hal's grandmother inspired my Just A Mom post several years ago that caused me to think of motherhood as my ministry.
On October 8 my son had his tonsils removed. On October 10 Hal & Chrisie came over to see the patient and to bring him a "get well" toy. Hal and my 9 year old built a Darth Vader Lego set while my husband and I visited with Chrisie. That was the last time we saw Hal. My husband was texting him at about 11am Monday, October 19 and by dinner that night he was gone.
Hal's funeral was Friday, October 30. The next Wednesday I was home with my daughter while my husband and son were at Cub Scouts. I was reading a tribute to Hal when my phone rang and I saw it was my dad. I don't know the last time my dad called me (he usually texts) and my immediate thought was, "God, no. I can't take another one of these phone calls." My dad was calling me, on behalf of my mom, to say that my maternal grandma had died suddenly. She wasn't feeling well that morning, took a nap and never woke up.
Needless to say it's been a hard season. Until 2015 I'd been relatively unaffected by death and hadn't lost anyone close to me. The relatives who had died previously were ones that either died when I was young (as is the case with my paternal grandfather who died 3 weeks before I turned 5) or were people like my Great Grandparents who lived far away and who I didn't know well.
All of my grandparents live(d) in Southern California and in June we took a "Grandparents Tour" where we visited my 3 living grandparents over a 4 day period. I'm glad we did since I am now down to 2 grandparents.
My husband and I had talked about how, since I'd reached 39 with a limited exposure to death, that when my grandparents started dying I would probably have a lot to deal with in a relatively short period of time (My Tutu, who recently passed was 86. My maternal grandfather is 87 & my maternal grandmother is 85) and that it would hit me hard. Because of Hal & my Tutu dying less than 3 weeks apart my introduction to the grieving process has been intense to say the least. Both deaths were sudden (well, as sudden as you can expect from a woman who has lived 86 years).
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