Today is Tuesday. Friday afternoon, for reasons we may not ever truly know, 26 people were murdered at a school in Newtown, CT. Like many I'm still trying to process, even though I am 2000mi away and have never been to Newtown.
Maybe I'm Pollyanna. I don't know. Maybe I'm grasping for straws. It's entirely possible. All I know is that 20 babies were killed and 6 adults died trying to protect the innocents in their care. I don't know much else about what happened Friday morning.
I also know I believe in God and I believe evil exists. I have read the writings of a lot of wise people in the past few days attempting to answer the, "Why?". Since I'm not wise I'm not even going to begin to tackle that.
Another thing I know: When tragedy strikes, as it did on Friday morning, people rally together. People stop what they're doing and pray A LOT. People hug their kids more and make sure loved ones are sent out into the world with a hug, a kiss and an "I love you!" People try to find a way to help.
As I'm still trying to process Friday's tragedy I'm looking for good because otherwise I'd be curled up in the fetal position hiding under my covers with my kids and not ever re-entering the world (tempting as that is . . . ).
Here are a few things I've seen and/or experienced in recent days:
**Parents putting aside the "to-do" lists and the busy-ness of the Christmas season to be intentional about time with their kids after being reminded how precious life is
**Parents hugging their kids tighter and saying, "I love you" more
**Parents being more patient with their children, realizing what a precious commodity time with them is
**A national dialogue about mental illness
**A friendship restored
**A recognition of teachers as heroes
**A lot of prayer. Prayer is never a bad thing and there's no such thing as too much.
In case you haven't seen it, here are the victims and their birthdates. My son is 6 and my nephew is 7. Some of these kids who are gone too soon were born within weeks of my son. One was born just 3 days after my nephew. I was in elementary school when Rachel Davino, Lauren Rasseau and Victoria Soto were born. My husband had graduated high school and was in college before Victoria was born.
Charlotte Bacon, 2/22/2006
Daniel Barden, 9/25/2005
Olivia Engel, 7/18/2006
Josephine Gay, 12/11/2005
Ana M Marquez-Greene, 4/4/2006
Dylan Hockley, 3/8/2006
Madeleine F Hsu, 7/10/2006
Catherine V Hubbard, 6/8/2006
Chase Kowalski, 10/31/2005
Jesse Lewis, 6/30/2006
James Mattioli, 3/22/2006
Grace McDonnell, 11/4/2005
Emilie Parker, 5/12/2006
Jack Pinto, 5/6/2006
Noah Pozner, 11/20/2006
Caroline Previdi, 9/7/2006
Jessica Rekos, 5/10/2006
Avielle Richman, 10/17/2006
Benjamin Wheeler, 9/12/2006
Allison N Wyatt, 7/3/2006
Adult Sandy Hook Elementary Victims:
Rachel Davino, 7/17/1983
Dawn Hocksprung, 6/28/1965
Anne Marie Murphy, 7/25/1960
Lauren Russeau, 6/8/1982
March Sherlach, 2/11/1956
Victoria Soto, 11/04/1985
I'm looking for the good because if I only focus on the evil it's harder to focus on the lives of the victims
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Newtown, CT
This city, once known to me as a place where a friend lives, is now infamous.
I'm a parent of school aged children. My mommy heart broke yesterday. I cried. I prayed. I got angry. I cried some more. I prayed continually. 30 minutes after I started hearing reports of what happened and I looked at my watch. It was 11:10am. My son's Kindergarten class has lunch at 11:20 and parents are always welcomed to have lunch with their students. I quickly grabbed my 4 year old and told her we were having lunch with her brother at school. Honestly, even though I gave my son a hug and told him, "I love you" as I walked him to his class yesterday morning I just needed to see him, hug him and tell him, "I love you" again.
As I cried and prayed and prayed and cried yesterday I was thankful that my friend's kids were safe, at a different elementary school in Newtown. I was thankful I knew where both of my babies were and I was able to tuck them in, hug them, and tell them, "I love you" last night. I also started thinking about Moms in Prayer. Moms in Prayer used to be called Moms in Touch and it's essentially a group of moms who gather every week to pray for their child's school. I am incredibly thankful for the women I connected with through the Find a Group link on the Moms in Prayer website. As I was thinking about my own MIP group I got curious and wondered if there was a group at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT. I was saddened to hear there wasn't. I can't think of a school in our country that needs Jesus more right now than that one and I am praying that God raises up moms to gather and interceed for this school on a regular basis, after the media attention dies down and those of us who weren't personally affected go on with our lives.
The State Coordinator in my state led a group of women from my MOMS group at church in a study of Power of a Praying Parent a couple years back that really helped open my eyes to the power of prayer. My oldest was about 4 at the time, but remembering the lessons learned that year I knew that when my oldest started Kindergarten this year I wanted to be part of a MIP group so I looked one up and was able to find one for my son's school.
I'm not saying that the horrible tragedy at Sandy Hook would've been prevented if there had been moms interceeding for that school, but I know that it gives me great comfort knowing I'm sending my child to a school that is regularly bathed in prayer by powerful women.
If you are a mom have kids in school I'd highly encourage you to gather with other moms to pray for the teachers, the staff and the students at your child's school.
Going to my meetings isn't convenient because I have to bring my 4 year old daughter (the only child who attends so I make sure she has coloring books, crayons and books to keep her entertained and quiet while we pray), but it is something I am committed to and grateful for because I believe in the power of prayer.
I don't know if we'll ever truly know the answer to the "Why????" question so many of us (myself included) are asking, but I'm just clinging to the promises of God right now that He will never leave us or forsake us.
Please join me in continuing to pray for Sandy Hook and the entire community of Newtown, CT as they heal. It's going to be a long process and one that continues for years after the national spotlight is off of them, but we know that Jesus is the Prince of Peace and I'm just begging Him that He will give that town a peace that transcends all understanding.
I'm a parent of school aged children. My mommy heart broke yesterday. I cried. I prayed. I got angry. I cried some more. I prayed continually. 30 minutes after I started hearing reports of what happened and I looked at my watch. It was 11:10am. My son's Kindergarten class has lunch at 11:20 and parents are always welcomed to have lunch with their students. I quickly grabbed my 4 year old and told her we were having lunch with her brother at school. Honestly, even though I gave my son a hug and told him, "I love you" as I walked him to his class yesterday morning I just needed to see him, hug him and tell him, "I love you" again.
As I cried and prayed and prayed and cried yesterday I was thankful that my friend's kids were safe, at a different elementary school in Newtown. I was thankful I knew where both of my babies were and I was able to tuck them in, hug them, and tell them, "I love you" last night. I also started thinking about Moms in Prayer. Moms in Prayer used to be called Moms in Touch and it's essentially a group of moms who gather every week to pray for their child's school. I am incredibly thankful for the women I connected with through the Find a Group link on the Moms in Prayer website. As I was thinking about my own MIP group I got curious and wondered if there was a group at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT. I was saddened to hear there wasn't. I can't think of a school in our country that needs Jesus more right now than that one and I am praying that God raises up moms to gather and interceed for this school on a regular basis, after the media attention dies down and those of us who weren't personally affected go on with our lives.
The State Coordinator in my state led a group of women from my MOMS group at church in a study of Power of a Praying Parent a couple years back that really helped open my eyes to the power of prayer. My oldest was about 4 at the time, but remembering the lessons learned that year I knew that when my oldest started Kindergarten this year I wanted to be part of a MIP group so I looked one up and was able to find one for my son's school.
I'm not saying that the horrible tragedy at Sandy Hook would've been prevented if there had been moms interceeding for that school, but I know that it gives me great comfort knowing I'm sending my child to a school that is regularly bathed in prayer by powerful women.
If you are a mom have kids in school I'd highly encourage you to gather with other moms to pray for the teachers, the staff and the students at your child's school.
Going to my meetings isn't convenient because I have to bring my 4 year old daughter (the only child who attends so I make sure she has coloring books, crayons and books to keep her entertained and quiet while we pray), but it is something I am committed to and grateful for because I believe in the power of prayer.
I don't know if we'll ever truly know the answer to the "Why????" question so many of us (myself included) are asking, but I'm just clinging to the promises of God right now that He will never leave us or forsake us.
Please join me in continuing to pray for Sandy Hook and the entire community of Newtown, CT as they heal. It's going to be a long process and one that continues for years after the national spotlight is off of them, but we know that Jesus is the Prince of Peace and I'm just begging Him that He will give that town a peace that transcends all understanding.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Grace
It's more than a girl's name.
In this past year I have learned a lot about grace. Recently I wrote about the women who most inspired me in 2012. Today I posted a link on my facebook page that sparked an interesting conversation.
One of the friends who commented was my long time college friend who shocked his wife of 14 years when he told her he wanted out. I am incredibly proud of both of my friends as they walk this journey. I'm proud of my long-time guy friend for getting help and, as I've said before, I'm extremely inspired by her willingness to be obedient and forgive even when it's painful and not rational.
I let my male friend know that I am praying for his family and that I am proud he is seeking help to change himself and improve his marriage. As I was trying to encourage him I started thinking a lot about grace. I fully admit that the grace I'm extending my friend in the aftermath of his choices is 100% because we have a history that goes back 18 years to two college freshman who met the first night we could move into our dorms. If pretty much any other girlfriend had told me what his wife did I don't know if I would've extended him any grace . . .
I started thinking about the grace I'm extending this friend and realizing that it shouldn't matter whether it's someone I've known half my life (EEEK!!!!) of if it's someone I've never met.
I told my friend tonight that a wise man I know once said to let him who is without sin cast the first stone and I have no stones to cast. While I was being 100% honest that I have no stones to cast at him I started wondering if I'm (silently) casting stones at others who need grace or if I'm being stingy with it and only extending this gift that has been extended to me to those I care about.
I know the answer and it's not pretty.
Now that I've admitted it, what am I going to do about it? The answer is easy, but living it out won't be . . .
In this past year I have learned a lot about grace. Recently I wrote about the women who most inspired me in 2012. Today I posted a link on my facebook page that sparked an interesting conversation.
One of the friends who commented was my long time college friend who shocked his wife of 14 years when he told her he wanted out. I am incredibly proud of both of my friends as they walk this journey. I'm proud of my long-time guy friend for getting help and, as I've said before, I'm extremely inspired by her willingness to be obedient and forgive even when it's painful and not rational.
I let my male friend know that I am praying for his family and that I am proud he is seeking help to change himself and improve his marriage. As I was trying to encourage him I started thinking a lot about grace. I fully admit that the grace I'm extending my friend in the aftermath of his choices is 100% because we have a history that goes back 18 years to two college freshman who met the first night we could move into our dorms. If pretty much any other girlfriend had told me what his wife did I don't know if I would've extended him any grace . . .
I started thinking about the grace I'm extending this friend and realizing that it shouldn't matter whether it's someone I've known half my life (EEEK!!!!) of if it's someone I've never met.
I told my friend tonight that a wise man I know once said to let him who is without sin cast the first stone and I have no stones to cast. While I was being 100% honest that I have no stones to cast at him I started wondering if I'm (silently) casting stones at others who need grace or if I'm being stingy with it and only extending this gift that has been extended to me to those I care about.
I know the answer and it's not pretty.
Now that I've admitted it, what am I going to do about it? The answer is easy, but living it out won't be . . .
Monday, December 10, 2012
Where would you go?
You know those "ice breaker" questions that ask things like, "If you could be any animal what would you be?" or "If you could have dinner with any person, past or present, who would it be?"
Saturday night my husband were on the freeway listening to the radio and I told him, "You know that icebreaker question about, 'If you could travel to any moment in history where would you go?'" He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Um . . . ok??" since it was obvious he didn't know where I was going with this question that seemingly came up out of the blue.
The weekend before my kids and I went with friends to a nursing home/rehab facility to do some Christmas caroling. As we sang the second verse of "Silent Night" I had tears in my eyes imagining what it must've been like that night:
Silent Night! Holy Night!
Shepherd's quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing, "Hallelujah!"
Christ the Savior is born! Christ the Savior is born!
O Holy Night was playing on the radio Saturday night when my husband and I were in the car and I just couldn't help but start trying to imagine what it would've been like to be one of the shepherds in the field that night who were alerted to the greatest birth in history so I finished my thought and told my husband, "If I could travel to any moment in history THIS night being sung about would be it . . . "
Saturday night my husband were on the freeway listening to the radio and I told him, "You know that icebreaker question about, 'If you could travel to any moment in history where would you go?'" He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Um . . . ok??" since it was obvious he didn't know where I was going with this question that seemingly came up out of the blue.
The weekend before my kids and I went with friends to a nursing home/rehab facility to do some Christmas caroling. As we sang the second verse of "Silent Night" I had tears in my eyes imagining what it must've been like that night:
Silent Night! Holy Night!
Shepherd's quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing, "Hallelujah!"
Christ the Savior is born! Christ the Savior is born!
O Holy Night was playing on the radio Saturday night when my husband and I were in the car and I just couldn't help but start trying to imagine what it would've been like to be one of the shepherds in the field that night who were alerted to the greatest birth in history so I finished my thought and told my husband, "If I could travel to any moment in history THIS night being sung about would be it . . . "
Thursday, December 6, 2012
How Parenthood Changed Christmas
Ever since I became a parent Christmas has changed for me. Aside from the obvious of watching the magic of Christmas through my children's eyes parenthood has changed how I view Mary, Joseph and their roles in Jesus' arrival.
As a woman who has been very pregnant (my son was born at 41wks, 1 days and my daugter was born at 39 wks, 6 days) I can imagine how uncomfortable Mary was on the donkey as she and Joseph travelled to Bethlehem.
In my experience one of the privleges that comes with being pregnant is the way people went out of their way to extend courtesies such as givng me their seat in a crowded restaurant lobby. Mary and Joseph apparently couldn't find someone who would give up a room for them (I'm guessing this might be because they were unmarried??). We know they were travelling for the census so I'm guessing there must been other family members with them. None of them were willing to let Mary and Joseph stay with them? Was their family shunning them, not believing Joseph & Mary when they said Mary was a virgin?
I was fortunate enough to give birth in the age of the epidural (props to you who have done the natural childbirth thing, the closest I got was refusing induction twice and narrowly avoiding a c-section with my first) , but I can only imagine how scary it must've been for these first time parents as Mary gave birth in a dirty barn. Mary didn't have caring nurses wrapping her baby in clean blankets in a clean room, she had to make do with what she had available. We're not told if these young parents had anyone else with them, assisting in Jesus' birth
One of my favorite Christmas songs is Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song) where Amy Grant puts herself in Mary's shoes. In recent years MercyMe has recorded their own song from Joseph's perspective. Songs like these and Mary, Did You Know? show that I'm not the first one to wonder what it was like for the two who were entrusted with raising Jesus.
Every parent I know is overwhelmed by their responsibilities, especially with their first, but how much more did Joseph & Mary feel knowing they were raising the Son of God?
We know Jesus never sinned (can I say I'm jealous Mary never had to deal with the "terrible twos"?), but what kind of baby was he? What would it have been like to raise this child knowing who He was? Did they feel (even more) pressure than other parents to raise him correctly?
I know we don't know anything about Joseph after Jesus was at the temple when he was 12. As a mom I can't even begin to fathom how horribly heart wrenching it must've been for Mary to watch Jesus be crucified.
Now that I'm a parent I can't help but look at a nativity scene and wonder about the young couple who wrapped their baby in swaddling clothes that night in Bethlehem.
As a woman who has been very pregnant (my son was born at 41wks, 1 days and my daugter was born at 39 wks, 6 days) I can imagine how uncomfortable Mary was on the donkey as she and Joseph travelled to Bethlehem.
In my experience one of the privleges that comes with being pregnant is the way people went out of their way to extend courtesies such as givng me their seat in a crowded restaurant lobby. Mary and Joseph apparently couldn't find someone who would give up a room for them (I'm guessing this might be because they were unmarried??). We know they were travelling for the census so I'm guessing there must been other family members with them. None of them were willing to let Mary and Joseph stay with them? Was their family shunning them, not believing Joseph & Mary when they said Mary was a virgin?
I was fortunate enough to give birth in the age of the epidural (props to you who have done the natural childbirth thing, the closest I got was refusing induction twice and narrowly avoiding a c-section with my first) , but I can only imagine how scary it must've been for these first time parents as Mary gave birth in a dirty barn. Mary didn't have caring nurses wrapping her baby in clean blankets in a clean room, she had to make do with what she had available. We're not told if these young parents had anyone else with them, assisting in Jesus' birth
One of my favorite Christmas songs is Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song) where Amy Grant puts herself in Mary's shoes. In recent years MercyMe has recorded their own song from Joseph's perspective. Songs like these and Mary, Did You Know? show that I'm not the first one to wonder what it was like for the two who were entrusted with raising Jesus.
Every parent I know is overwhelmed by their responsibilities, especially with their first, but how much more did Joseph & Mary feel knowing they were raising the Son of God?
We know Jesus never sinned (can I say I'm jealous Mary never had to deal with the "terrible twos"?), but what kind of baby was he? What would it have been like to raise this child knowing who He was? Did they feel (even more) pressure than other parents to raise him correctly?
I know we don't know anything about Joseph after Jesus was at the temple when he was 12. As a mom I can't even begin to fathom how horribly heart wrenching it must've been for Mary to watch Jesus be crucified.
Now that I'm a parent I can't help but look at a nativity scene and wonder about the young couple who wrapped their baby in swaddling clothes that night in Bethlehem.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Inspired!
I started out 2012 feeling like there was a life lesson to be learned, but that I just couldn't grasp what it was. Because of separate incidents that occured in the same area of my life I just KNEW there was something I was supposed to be learning, but I just couldn't figure out what it was.
As the year progressed my quest for this big "answer" never really got anwered, or at least not answered in an easy to sum up "What I Learned in 2012" facebook status (Not even this blog is big enough), but one thing I did learn is that there are amazing people in my life who can teach me lessons and help me grow as a person, even when they're not trying to. Just through observing the lives of 3 friends in particular this year I have come away inspired. Only one of these women has chosen the challenge she's faced this year, but all three of them have climbed some pretty big mountains this year (like Mt. Everest sized mountains). Watching them struggle, stumble, succeed, and learn has caused me to look at the challenges in my own life and know they're not impossible.
*****************
About this time last year I, along with a few others, received an e-mail from a friend of ours who had found a lump in her breast. In the first few business days of 2012 my friend was in her car, on the freeway, when she received the offical diagnosis of breast cancer. Through her journey I have followed her progress on facebook where she's been extremely transparent about the good days and bad. Since her diagnosis in January my friend has faced a mastectomy, chemo and finally reconstruction with a grace that just absolutely astounds me. I've followed Jesus for about half of my life now and I have NEVER seen anyone handle adversity the way this friend has been. This friend "works the room" whenever she has an appointment at her oncologists, at chemo, at Herceptin treatments, at the plastic surgeon, etc. My friend wants to get to know other women who are on the same journey with her so they can encourage each other. My friend sees her cancer diagnosis as a journey to encourage others and bring them together. My friend knows there is a purpose to her battle and is just being her (extremely extroverted) self as she goes along side other women in her (lack of) a bra.
In addition to encouraging others who are facing breast cancer, my friend is being very real and open about breast cancer for those of us who have never walked closely with someone during their treatment so that we would be able to have more empathy for those on this journey and so that we could be more educated.
Interestingly enough this same friend had finished chemo before she even made her diagnosis public on her regular facebook page (After 25+ years in marketing and media she knows A LOT of people)!
Whether she realizes it or not this friend's example should be the basis of a book titled "How to Handle Cancer and any other Life Altering Event"
***************
The only friend from this list who chose her battle is a rockstar. Ok, not literally, but she's cooler than pretty much any rock star I can think of. Bon Jovi is cool and everything but is he a mom to 4 kids, actively involved in church, cook well enough to be a chef at his own restaurant, maintain his own blog . . . and oh yeah . . . complete an Ironman? Yeah, I didn't think so. That's why Missy from Sugar Coated Athlete is cooler than a rock star.
I'm not an athlete and I don't like to bake (I sure as heck LOVE to eat sweets, though so if you want to bake me some I'll be home waiting for you!!!), but I read Missy's blog almost every day. Seeing the workouts she does, the food she cooks, and the way she makes me laugh out loud while I'm reading her blog all inspire me.
You can read about Missy's journey to the finish line of the Arizona Ironman on her blog, but briefly it has included crashes, a trip to the ER, a long, HOT, very long, VERY HOT Phoenix summer, vacation, selling a house/moving a family of 6, potty training a toddler, and other normal life stuff that occurs when you're married and have 4 kids.
I've often said I don't have time to work out because of my kids. Well . . . Missy has 2 more kids than I do, blogs more often than I do and still can ride her bike 90 miles on a Saturday afternoon. What's my excuse? Yeah, I don't have one.
If Missy can train for an Ironman (quick education: An Ironman course is a 2.4mi swim, 112 mi bike ride and as if that weren't enough for one day . . . there's a full 26.2mi marathon at the end just for kicks). I can't even run to the end of my street if I turn left out of my driveway. (I totally kick butt when I run to the end of my street by hanging a right out of my driveway because my house IS at the end of the street)
Missy has inspired me to get off the couch and get moving! I have no desire to ever be an Ironman, but I KNOW I'm capable of achieving my goals with enough determination and grit.
***************
When your husband of 14 years tells you there's someone else and he wants you and the kids to "set him free" how would you handle it?
One friend found out this fall. Like me she said she'd always considered this marital issue to be a "deal breaker". Through her blog and her facebook page I watched a true miracle occur when her husband (also a friend of mine. Actually, he's one of my good friends from college and only know her as a result of her being his wife) changed his mind and decided he was willing to work it out with his wife. I have prayed (and am continuing to pray) fervently for this couple and the reconciliation process.
As with my friend who is just finishing up her battle with cancer I never want to find out if I'm as strong as this friend is. I never want to find myself where I have to forgive so much and be tortured with the thoughts she is.
In the two years prior to the path this couple is walking now they've dealt with a deployment (they're a military family), their 8 year old having a brain tumor and a move. (Their son just turned 10 and is doing great!). Recently this family was rocked by the sudden passing of his mom and now their household is dealing with mono.
I have read my friend's blog posts and I am amazed at the faith she is showing in the midst of all this . . . YUCK. I know God is growing her and He is changing her. Watching her strength in the midst of this "It could never happen to us" crisis has been inspiring. Through her blog and her facebook page I have watched her struggle with living out the Biblical commandment to forgive, while simultaneously wondering if I could forgive if I found myself in her situation and praying I never have to experience what she is facing.
Because her husband is a longtime friend of mine and because I've developed a friendship with her online in recent years I am rooting for this couple and cheering them, praying that they're able to have a marriage that thrives again! I know this is not an easy road for them, but the fact they've made it this far and are continuing to work things out is incredibly inspring. It's easy for me, or others, to tell them how they should handle things right now, but since I haven't ever been asked to forgive something so peronal I know all I can offer are prayers and encouragement.
I am blessed to know some amazing people but thanks to the internet I have watched as these three have climbed Mt. Everest (or maybe the entire Himilayan range) this year. I know the journey isn't over, yet (especially for my friends dealing with healing their marriage), but the fact that they're all still laughing is encouraging in and of itself!
As the year progressed my quest for this big "answer" never really got anwered, or at least not answered in an easy to sum up "What I Learned in 2012" facebook status (Not even this blog is big enough), but one thing I did learn is that there are amazing people in my life who can teach me lessons and help me grow as a person, even when they're not trying to. Just through observing the lives of 3 friends in particular this year I have come away inspired. Only one of these women has chosen the challenge she's faced this year, but all three of them have climbed some pretty big mountains this year (like Mt. Everest sized mountains). Watching them struggle, stumble, succeed, and learn has caused me to look at the challenges in my own life and know they're not impossible.
*****************
About this time last year I, along with a few others, received an e-mail from a friend of ours who had found a lump in her breast. In the first few business days of 2012 my friend was in her car, on the freeway, when she received the offical diagnosis of breast cancer. Through her journey I have followed her progress on facebook where she's been extremely transparent about the good days and bad. Since her diagnosis in January my friend has faced a mastectomy, chemo and finally reconstruction with a grace that just absolutely astounds me. I've followed Jesus for about half of my life now and I have NEVER seen anyone handle adversity the way this friend has been. This friend "works the room" whenever she has an appointment at her oncologists, at chemo, at Herceptin treatments, at the plastic surgeon, etc. My friend wants to get to know other women who are on the same journey with her so they can encourage each other. My friend sees her cancer diagnosis as a journey to encourage others and bring them together. My friend knows there is a purpose to her battle and is just being her (extremely extroverted) self as she goes along side other women in her (lack of) a bra.
In addition to encouraging others who are facing breast cancer, my friend is being very real and open about breast cancer for those of us who have never walked closely with someone during their treatment so that we would be able to have more empathy for those on this journey and so that we could be more educated.
Interestingly enough this same friend had finished chemo before she even made her diagnosis public on her regular facebook page (After 25+ years in marketing and media she knows A LOT of people)!
Whether she realizes it or not this friend's example should be the basis of a book titled "How to Handle Cancer and any other Life Altering Event"
***************
The only friend from this list who chose her battle is a rockstar. Ok, not literally, but she's cooler than pretty much any rock star I can think of. Bon Jovi is cool and everything but is he a mom to 4 kids, actively involved in church, cook well enough to be a chef at his own restaurant, maintain his own blog . . . and oh yeah . . . complete an Ironman? Yeah, I didn't think so. That's why Missy from Sugar Coated Athlete is cooler than a rock star.
I'm not an athlete and I don't like to bake (I sure as heck LOVE to eat sweets, though so if you want to bake me some I'll be home waiting for you!!!), but I read Missy's blog almost every day. Seeing the workouts she does, the food she cooks, and the way she makes me laugh out loud while I'm reading her blog all inspire me.
You can read about Missy's journey to the finish line of the Arizona Ironman on her blog, but briefly it has included crashes, a trip to the ER, a long, HOT, very long, VERY HOT Phoenix summer, vacation, selling a house/moving a family of 6, potty training a toddler, and other normal life stuff that occurs when you're married and have 4 kids.
I've often said I don't have time to work out because of my kids. Well . . . Missy has 2 more kids than I do, blogs more often than I do and still can ride her bike 90 miles on a Saturday afternoon. What's my excuse? Yeah, I don't have one.
If Missy can train for an Ironman (quick education: An Ironman course is a 2.4mi swim, 112 mi bike ride and as if that weren't enough for one day . . . there's a full 26.2mi marathon at the end just for kicks). I can't even run to the end of my street if I turn left out of my driveway. (I totally kick butt when I run to the end of my street by hanging a right out of my driveway because my house IS at the end of the street)
Missy has inspired me to get off the couch and get moving! I have no desire to ever be an Ironman, but I KNOW I'm capable of achieving my goals with enough determination and grit.
***************
When your husband of 14 years tells you there's someone else and he wants you and the kids to "set him free" how would you handle it?
One friend found out this fall. Like me she said she'd always considered this marital issue to be a "deal breaker". Through her blog and her facebook page I watched a true miracle occur when her husband (also a friend of mine. Actually, he's one of my good friends from college and only know her as a result of her being his wife) changed his mind and decided he was willing to work it out with his wife. I have prayed (and am continuing to pray) fervently for this couple and the reconciliation process.
As with my friend who is just finishing up her battle with cancer I never want to find out if I'm as strong as this friend is. I never want to find myself where I have to forgive so much and be tortured with the thoughts she is.
In the two years prior to the path this couple is walking now they've dealt with a deployment (they're a military family), their 8 year old having a brain tumor and a move. (Their son just turned 10 and is doing great!). Recently this family was rocked by the sudden passing of his mom and now their household is dealing with mono.
I have read my friend's blog posts and I am amazed at the faith she is showing in the midst of all this . . . YUCK. I know God is growing her and He is changing her. Watching her strength in the midst of this "It could never happen to us" crisis has been inspiring. Through her blog and her facebook page I have watched her struggle with living out the Biblical commandment to forgive, while simultaneously wondering if I could forgive if I found myself in her situation and praying I never have to experience what she is facing.
Because her husband is a longtime friend of mine and because I've developed a friendship with her online in recent years I am rooting for this couple and cheering them, praying that they're able to have a marriage that thrives again! I know this is not an easy road for them, but the fact they've made it this far and are continuing to work things out is incredibly inspring. It's easy for me, or others, to tell them how they should handle things right now, but since I haven't ever been asked to forgive something so peronal I know all I can offer are prayers and encouragement.
I am blessed to know some amazing people but thanks to the internet I have watched as these three have climbed Mt. Everest (or maybe the entire Himilayan range) this year. I know the journey isn't over, yet (especially for my friends dealing with healing their marriage), but the fact that they're all still laughing is encouraging in and of itself!
Monday, December 3, 2012
In the beginning . . .
Here is the first picture taken of us (on our second date), at his company Christmas party:
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| December, 2002 |
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| October, 2011 |
Ornament a year . . .
Because I was working full time as a flight attendant and part-time at a Christian bookstore when we met we didn't have a lot of time to spend together in the beginning, especially since the holidays are a notoriously busy time in the airline industry and he'd already made travel plans for the last 2 weeks of December.
The first thing my husband invited me to was his company Christmas party, which was supposed to be our first date. Because there were about 10 days between the time he invited me to the party and the day it was scheduled, we ended up going out to dinner once in between. With our conflicting schedules around Christmas and New Year's Eve we had known that after the weekend of his work party we wouldn't see each other until after the 1st of the year.
After one of our first two dates we were in my apartment and I was showing him the ornaments I had for my first ever tree (This was the first time I'd ever lived alone, without roommates). All of the ornaments on my tree were ones given to me by relatives when I was a kid or by friends when I was in high school and college and I told him the story of each one.
Because he knew he would be gone for a scheduled visit to his parents' house for Christmas and then a previously scheduled New Year's Eve party at his best friend's house out of town my (now) husband left my Christmas gift with the mutual friend who had introduced us.
After only two dates this was the first ever gift my husband bought me:
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After we became engaged in September, 2003 he showed me this ornament he bought at the same time he bought the first one
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Needless to say a tradition was born pretty quickly :)
Interestingly enough, just a few days after I had set up our tree in 2005 we found out we were expecting our oldest so we have an ornament to mark that occasion, too. When I went to Target to buy a confirmatory pregnancy test I also picked up an ornament that was a gift box that opened. I put a note inside with the date and saying we got our present early that year in finding out we're going to become parents. I also bought a gender neutral stocking ornament that day. I will take pictures of those and add them to this post later.
Every year I buy an ornament that represents my husband and I and one for each of the kids. Starting at about age 2 I let the kids pick their own out. Some of their choices have surprised me, but I love hearing their reasons why. I stick a note in the ornament box saying who picked out the ornament and why so I'll always remember.
My favorite part of decorating the tree each December is pulling out the ornaments and taking a trip down memory lane. Here are a few of my favorites:
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| After my husband were pronounced "husband and wife" at our wedding we left the church for our reception to Smashmouth's rendition of I'm a Believer from the movie Shrek. |
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| This was my husband's boutonnier from our wedding inside a plastic ornament ball I'd bought at Michael's |
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