This may the most controversial post I write and I don't really intend it to be because I know that there is no "one size fits all" answer for every kid and every family. Among my friends I know families who have made every school choice available: homeschool, private school, neighborhood public school, out of district public school, public traditional school and charter schools. I even know some families that have different options for different kids (ex: one child in public school and one in private school). I know every family has made the decisions they have for specific reasons and many feel they are called to make the decisions they have regarding their child's education. To me this isn't a right/wrong issue . . . it's a choice.
Here in Arizona we have a lot of freedom when it comes to school choice. Basically, as long as there is room in a school, any student can apply for open enrollment at whatever public school they want. Also, because of the way our charter school laws are written there are A LOT of choices for those. It's almost mind boggling how many choices there are when it comes to the best school for your children.
Our oldest started Kindergarten in August so we've made our first venture into school this year (aside from the 2 years of preschool he had at a church preschool) so my husband and I are well versed in the choices available to us. After weighing our options here's why we made the decisions we did:
a) We bought our house with the school in mind. This is definitely NOT our dream house and there are things we'd change (including what we get for our money by living here), but we chose this neighborhood specifically for the schools.
b) We want our kids school friends to be their neighborhood friends. We go to church about 25 miles from our home and so our kids' church friends don't live close enough to get together frequently. We want to be able to have our kids' school friends over, and for our kids to hang out with their school friends in the neighborhood, without it requiring major driving on behalf of either set of parents.
c) We want our kids to get used to being "in the world". We want our kids to be under our roof, where we can help them with their struggles, when they are exposed to ideas that may not necessarily be taught in our home. We feel that they're going to have to eventually enter the "real world" and we want to be able to walk along side them, and guide them, as they realize what it means to follow Jesus in our culture.
d) We want our kids to be salt and light to the world around them and we feel if they are only around people who believe the same way we do they won't be building relationships and be able to introduce their friends to Jesus. I was an education major and had planned on teaching in a public school. It's a very long story as to why I never taught, aside from my student teaching, but my reasons for wanting to teach in a public school are the same reasons I want my kids to attend one. It's no secret that our schools can be a very dark place and that's why Jesus has told us to be a light to the world. If all the light (Christian students and teachers) are removed from the public schools they will be even darker and we want to be part of the illumination that occurs.
e) We are aware that there may be things taught, or said, that are in direct opposition to our belief system. When this happens (because I know it will at some point) we are going to use it as a teachable moment for our kids about standing up for what is right.
These are just some of the reasons we've made the decision to send our son (and eventually our daughter) to the neighborhood school. As with all things related to parenting, the situation is fluid and we're not ruling out another option down the road, but this is where we are right now. If circumstances change and we feel it becomes necessary to re-evaluate our decision we will and we'll be confident that that is the best decision for our child at the time.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Somewhere out there . . .
I started following Christ when I was a freshman in college. While in school I was introduced to the concept of praying for my husband, even though I didn't know who he was. I thought the concept was good and I'd occasionally remember to do it, but it wasn't anything I did regularly.
A few years later I was at a conference and the speaker talked about how, when he was single, he picked a star in the sky to be his reminder to pray for his (future) wife. This man wasn't talking about "Wishing upon a star", but he used the star as a reminder to pray to the One who created the stars for the woman he would eventually shar his life with. Since I'd already proven to myself I wasn't very good at remembering to pray for someone I'd never met I latched on to this idea and decided to adopt it myself. I picked the middle star in Orion's belt.
Though I didn't know it at the time, on November 8, 2002 God introduced me to the man I had been praying for. Our first date was December 8, 2002 and we both knew fairly quickly this was "it". In March, 2003 my (now) husband told me he knew he was going to marry me, but he wasn't ready to ask me, yet. (Aside: 9.5 years and two kids later I still think that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard because were 26 and 36, he had a steady job, he owned his own home and I couldn't think of a single thing to wait for, but that's a story for another day. After we got engaged I told him how I felt back then and he still thinks it's hilarious; in fact, he tells me if he'd known how ridiculous I thought it was he would've waitied longer to propose. Goof.)
Memorial Day weekend, 2003 we loaded up my (now) husband's Nissan Xterra and headed for the mountains. We didn't really have a plan, we just wanted to get out of the Phoenix heat and spend time together (I worked one full time job as a flight attendant and a part time job working retail so I had insane hours and we didn't have much free time together). One of the ideas we'd talked about was just throwing a couple of sleeping bags in the truck and sleeping there.
Eventually we made our way to far Eastern Arizona and ended up camping there the entire weekend. I had never been to that part of the state and immediately fell in love with it. (I was already in love with the guy I was with!) One night during our trip we found our way to a meadow where we were just staring at the stars and talking. Even though we couldn't see it in the summer sky, during that conversation I told him about Orion's belt and how I'd used that as my visual cue to pray for him.
This past week our little family of 4 rented a cabin about 20 minutes from that campsite that is so special to me. As we were getting out of the car after dinner last night I looked up at the night sky for the first time all week. Whether it was because of the time of year or time of night I couldn't quickly find Orion (it was COLD and wanted to get the kids in bed so I didn't look long), but I told our 6 year old and our 4 year old about how I prayed for Daddy years before we met.
Last night as I tucked my 4 year old into bed she and I prayed for her husband. Orion and Eastern Arizona are significant in the story my husband and I share. Now every time I see that constellation, or am in that part of the state, I am going to pray for two more I haven't met, yet: my future daughter-in-law and my future son-in-law.
A few years later I was at a conference and the speaker talked about how, when he was single, he picked a star in the sky to be his reminder to pray for his (future) wife. This man wasn't talking about "Wishing upon a star", but he used the star as a reminder to pray to the One who created the stars for the woman he would eventually shar his life with. Since I'd already proven to myself I wasn't very good at remembering to pray for someone I'd never met I latched on to this idea and decided to adopt it myself. I picked the middle star in Orion's belt.
Though I didn't know it at the time, on November 8, 2002 God introduced me to the man I had been praying for. Our first date was December 8, 2002 and we both knew fairly quickly this was "it". In March, 2003 my (now) husband told me he knew he was going to marry me, but he wasn't ready to ask me, yet. (Aside: 9.5 years and two kids later I still think that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard because were 26 and 36, he had a steady job, he owned his own home and I couldn't think of a single thing to wait for, but that's a story for another day. After we got engaged I told him how I felt back then and he still thinks it's hilarious; in fact, he tells me if he'd known how ridiculous I thought it was he would've waitied longer to propose. Goof.)
Memorial Day weekend, 2003 we loaded up my (now) husband's Nissan Xterra and headed for the mountains. We didn't really have a plan, we just wanted to get out of the Phoenix heat and spend time together (I worked one full time job as a flight attendant and a part time job working retail so I had insane hours and we didn't have much free time together). One of the ideas we'd talked about was just throwing a couple of sleeping bags in the truck and sleeping there.
Eventually we made our way to far Eastern Arizona and ended up camping there the entire weekend. I had never been to that part of the state and immediately fell in love with it. (I was already in love with the guy I was with!) One night during our trip we found our way to a meadow where we were just staring at the stars and talking. Even though we couldn't see it in the summer sky, during that conversation I told him about Orion's belt and how I'd used that as my visual cue to pray for him.
This past week our little family of 4 rented a cabin about 20 minutes from that campsite that is so special to me. As we were getting out of the car after dinner last night I looked up at the night sky for the first time all week. Whether it was because of the time of year or time of night I couldn't quickly find Orion (it was COLD and wanted to get the kids in bed so I didn't look long), but I told our 6 year old and our 4 year old about how I prayed for Daddy years before we met.
Last night as I tucked my 4 year old into bed she and I prayed for her husband. Orion and Eastern Arizona are significant in the story my husband and I share. Now every time I see that constellation, or am in that part of the state, I am going to pray for two more I haven't met, yet: my future daughter-in-law and my future son-in-law.
Just a Mom
I've always been fairly confident in the decision my husband and I made, before getting married, that I would stay at home while our kids were little and I would not work outside the home until our kids were in school.
Now that my kids are getting older and my social circle is expanding from my friends to parents of my kids' friends I am often finding myself the only mom in the room who doesn't earn a paycheck and admit that when the question is asked of me, "What do you do?" I shyly admit, "I'm just a mom". I see the looks and hear the unspoken words from these moms who have "real" jobs and my confidence in our decision gets shaken.
In addition to the new experiences of my expanded social circle, for several years I have looked around at what others my age have accomplished professionally and I can't help by wonder, "What have I done with my life?" I have a degree in a field I'm no longer interested in entering. I worked up until just before the arrival of my oldest, but I've just had "jobs" and I've never had a career. I have come to the realization that I will probably never have a career, even when I do re-enter the work force and get a job outside of the home.
In short, I have started to see my role as "just a mom" as one that is less than my peers who work outside the home and are wonderful parents.
Last week an amazing godly woman was called home to be with Jesus and I spent time this week thinking about her legacy. I don't know if she worked outside the home while her children were young. I don't much of her story, but I have spent time with her at family gatherings for as long as I've known my husband. I didn't know "GG" well, but I know some of her kids, her grandkids and her great-grandkids and I know the legacy she and her husband built has impacted countless thousands of lives for all eternity.
GG has one daughter who has been as a missionary overseas her entire adult life serving children who desperately need Jesus' love and compassion. GG's daughter has been Jesus' hands, feet, arms, and so much else to these children for several decades and the lives she has touched have been changed for all eternity. I honestly don't ever remember having met this daughter (maybe a brief introduction once), but I know her family and I've heard of her and her work for years.
GG has another daughter who I know primarily as my friends' mom. My friends' mom is the board of directors for a missions organization and is the missions director at her church. My friends' mom has raised a son and daughter who love Jesus, who serve Him in their community and who are raising their kids in the Truth. I count both of her children as friends.
One of GG's grandsons and his wife are close friends of ours. My husband and GG's grandson grew up in the same church together and have a friendship that has lasted decades. GG's grandson taught at a Christian school and was a youth pastor for many years before he and his family went on the mission field. Now Stateside this man is a pastor leading his own congregation.
GG's granddaughter is also a friend and she is raising her family in the same church she grew up in. While not in vocational ministry GG's granddaughter is serving her Jesus and is a light in her community to those who know her. GG's granddaughter and her husband have two young kids who they are raising in God's Truth.
GG has 4 great-grandchildren ranging in age from 19-2 and I can only imagine the future God has in store for them.
This amazing legacy of faith that has spanned several generations, multiple continents and to countless thousands of lives is all because one couple loved Jesus and demonstrated that love to their children.
While this legacy can (and IS) left by families where both parents work, single parent families where working is the only way to put food on the table and everything in between, it has caused me to re-think how I view myself and my role as Mom.
No matter if I one day have a job that out earns my husband's or if I never earn a paycheck again, I look at GG's life and remember that parenthood has an eternal impact for generations to come.
I am not "just a mom" . . . I am a woman who is one half of a couple raising our kids for eternity and praying we leave a legacy of Christ followers that lasts for generations to come.
Now that my kids are getting older and my social circle is expanding from my friends to parents of my kids' friends I am often finding myself the only mom in the room who doesn't earn a paycheck and admit that when the question is asked of me, "What do you do?" I shyly admit, "I'm just a mom". I see the looks and hear the unspoken words from these moms who have "real" jobs and my confidence in our decision gets shaken.
In addition to the new experiences of my expanded social circle, for several years I have looked around at what others my age have accomplished professionally and I can't help by wonder, "What have I done with my life?" I have a degree in a field I'm no longer interested in entering. I worked up until just before the arrival of my oldest, but I've just had "jobs" and I've never had a career. I have come to the realization that I will probably never have a career, even when I do re-enter the work force and get a job outside of the home.
In short, I have started to see my role as "just a mom" as one that is less than my peers who work outside the home and are wonderful parents.
Last week an amazing godly woman was called home to be with Jesus and I spent time this week thinking about her legacy. I don't know if she worked outside the home while her children were young. I don't much of her story, but I have spent time with her at family gatherings for as long as I've known my husband. I didn't know "GG" well, but I know some of her kids, her grandkids and her great-grandkids and I know the legacy she and her husband built has impacted countless thousands of lives for all eternity.
GG has one daughter who has been as a missionary overseas her entire adult life serving children who desperately need Jesus' love and compassion. GG's daughter has been Jesus' hands, feet, arms, and so much else to these children for several decades and the lives she has touched have been changed for all eternity. I honestly don't ever remember having met this daughter (maybe a brief introduction once), but I know her family and I've heard of her and her work for years.
GG has another daughter who I know primarily as my friends' mom. My friends' mom is the board of directors for a missions organization and is the missions director at her church. My friends' mom has raised a son and daughter who love Jesus, who serve Him in their community and who are raising their kids in the Truth. I count both of her children as friends.
One of GG's grandsons and his wife are close friends of ours. My husband and GG's grandson grew up in the same church together and have a friendship that has lasted decades. GG's grandson taught at a Christian school and was a youth pastor for many years before he and his family went on the mission field. Now Stateside this man is a pastor leading his own congregation.
GG's granddaughter is also a friend and she is raising her family in the same church she grew up in. While not in vocational ministry GG's granddaughter is serving her Jesus and is a light in her community to those who know her. GG's granddaughter and her husband have two young kids who they are raising in God's Truth.
GG has 4 great-grandchildren ranging in age from 19-2 and I can only imagine the future God has in store for them.
This amazing legacy of faith that has spanned several generations, multiple continents and to countless thousands of lives is all because one couple loved Jesus and demonstrated that love to their children.
While this legacy can (and IS) left by families where both parents work, single parent families where working is the only way to put food on the table and everything in between, it has caused me to re-think how I view myself and my role as Mom.
No matter if I one day have a job that out earns my husband's or if I never earn a paycheck again, I look at GG's life and remember that parenthood has an eternal impact for generations to come.
I am not "just a mom" . . . I am a woman who is one half of a couple raising our kids for eternity and praying we leave a legacy of Christ followers that lasts for generations to come.
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