******
Saturday night my husband and I attended church where the pastor preached the first in a series on Jonah. Our pastor pointed out that, like Jonah, we've all tried to run away from God and do things our own way. The message reminded me of a time in my life where I'd tried doing things my way, felt beaten down inside, and ran back to God crying out, "Ok, I'm DONE. I'm tired of all of this. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of running. I'm just DONE. I've tried doing things my way and I've screwed up. I give up! You were right! Please forgive me!" Sunday morning my facebook status (and a follow up comment) read:
So much to be thankful for today. In light of last night's message [at church] I am going to praise God for the grace and mercy He showed me Monday, November 4, 2002 when I was a passenger on a Southwest flight from Nashville. I was done running and sick of screwing things up by trying to do them my way. In His perfect grace He welcomed me home. Interestingly enough on Friday, November 8, 2002 I attended my roommate's wedding and then went miniature golfing with a friend who invited me to "tag along" with her and friends from her church. One of her friends was [my husband].******
I made the decision to follow Jesus my freshman year of college while I was attending a Christian school. After graduation, I started working as a flight attendant and had started making compromises. I began distancing myself from my friends who I knew would "call me out" for my behavior. I was stuck in a weird middle ground where I was "too Christian" for my work friends, but not "Christian enough" for my other friends. Every once in awhile I would try to start "living right", but eventually I'd slowly start stumbling again. 2002 was one of those years I was stumbling along.
Off and on, throughout 2002 I had been seeing a guy, "Mike", who lived in Columbus, Ohio and worked for the same airline I did. We'd see each other if I was in town. It wasn't a relationship-it was just convenient. Mike wasn't really that nice to me and he had stood me up a few times. I had vowed several times I wasn't going back to Columbus and if I did I wasn't going to call him. I never kept either promise to myself. Mike didn't make empty promises or try to win me over with smooth words. Really, my attraction to him was that he paid attention to me. Nothing else. We didn't have much in common and he ridiculed me for my faith. The fact I kept calling him when I was in town, despite these things, is evidence of what a bad place I was in.
Mike's 30th birthday was coming up on Friday, November 8 and he didn't have plans. I had about 10 days off and came up with the idea that I'd fly out to see him. The problem with my plan was I had several commitments during my time off, including a trip to Nashville to visit a friend and my roommate's wedding the night of his birthday. Mike hadn't invited me out to see him, but I had decided I was going to back out of my commitments and I invited myself to Ohio. (Yes, I was planning on skipping my roommate's wedding to see this not-so-nice-to-me-guy).
I don't even remember how it started, but I distinctly remember reading my Bible and journaling on the Southwest flight home from Nashville. By the time my flight landed in Phoenix I had been changed. I had laid everything at the feet of Jesus and had cried out to God (literally and figuratively) for His help. Though I had tried to "start over" several times during my years as a flight attendant this day was different. I cried out to God like I hadn't ever before. Instead of just hoping this time was different I KNEW it was. This time I knew I was different. I was going to live how God wanted me to. I was going to leave guys like Mike in my past and move forward.
I fulfilled my commitments in Arizona Tuesday and Thursday of that week. On Friday, November 8, I was preparing for my roommate's wedding when a girl, "Lisa", I had met as a customer at my second job invited me to go out to dinner with her and her friends. Lisa told me they were meeting at 7. My roommate's wedding ceremony started at 7. Lisa had invited me out with her friends several times before, but I had always been out of town. This time I was in town and didn't want to decline Lisa's invitation, but I wanted to attend the wedding. I told Lisa I'd already planned on skipping the reception because I didn't know anybody and she suggested I give her a call after the ceremony because they would probably do something after dinner.
******
The man I share this life with is one of Lisa's friends I met that night. I sometimes wonder what my life would've been like had I gone to Columbus for Mike's 30th birthday, instead of staying in Arizona for my roommate's wedding. God's perfect timing amazes me. Lisa had invited me to hang out with her friends several times before that night, but the timing never worked. The conversation I had with God on that Southwest flight changed me and my perspective on future dating relationships (I had no idea that my next one would also be my last).
One November evening in 2002 God introduced me to a man who had waited 36 years for his wife to be ready. I finally was.
Off and on, throughout 2002 I had been seeing a guy, "Mike", who lived in Columbus, Ohio and worked for the same airline I did. We'd see each other if I was in town. It wasn't a relationship-it was just convenient. Mike wasn't really that nice to me and he had stood me up a few times. I had vowed several times I wasn't going back to Columbus and if I did I wasn't going to call him. I never kept either promise to myself. Mike didn't make empty promises or try to win me over with smooth words. Really, my attraction to him was that he paid attention to me. Nothing else. We didn't have much in common and he ridiculed me for my faith. The fact I kept calling him when I was in town, despite these things, is evidence of what a bad place I was in.
Mike's 30th birthday was coming up on Friday, November 8 and he didn't have plans. I had about 10 days off and came up with the idea that I'd fly out to see him. The problem with my plan was I had several commitments during my time off, including a trip to Nashville to visit a friend and my roommate's wedding the night of his birthday. Mike hadn't invited me out to see him, but I had decided I was going to back out of my commitments and I invited myself to Ohio. (Yes, I was planning on skipping my roommate's wedding to see this not-so-nice-to-me-guy).
I don't even remember how it started, but I distinctly remember reading my Bible and journaling on the Southwest flight home from Nashville. By the time my flight landed in Phoenix I had been changed. I had laid everything at the feet of Jesus and had cried out to God (literally and figuratively) for His help. Though I had tried to "start over" several times during my years as a flight attendant this day was different. I cried out to God like I hadn't ever before. Instead of just hoping this time was different I KNEW it was. This time I knew I was different. I was going to live how God wanted me to. I was going to leave guys like Mike in my past and move forward.
I fulfilled my commitments in Arizona Tuesday and Thursday of that week. On Friday, November 8, I was preparing for my roommate's wedding when a girl, "Lisa", I had met as a customer at my second job invited me to go out to dinner with her and her friends. Lisa told me they were meeting at 7. My roommate's wedding ceremony started at 7. Lisa had invited me out with her friends several times before, but I had always been out of town. This time I was in town and didn't want to decline Lisa's invitation, but I wanted to attend the wedding. I told Lisa I'd already planned on skipping the reception because I didn't know anybody and she suggested I give her a call after the ceremony because they would probably do something after dinner.
******
The man I share this life with is one of Lisa's friends I met that night. I sometimes wonder what my life would've been like had I gone to Columbus for Mike's 30th birthday, instead of staying in Arizona for my roommate's wedding. God's perfect timing amazes me. Lisa had invited me to hang out with her friends several times before that night, but the timing never worked. The conversation I had with God on that Southwest flight changed me and my perspective on future dating relationships (I had no idea that my next one would also be my last).
One November evening in 2002 God introduced me to a man who had waited 36 years for his wife to be ready. I finally was.
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