Dear You at 16:

Though I didn't hear it myself, I heard from friends that there was a question on the radio today that asked, "If you could go back and talk to yourself at 16 what would you say?"  I saw the question on a forum and then asked it on my facebook page.  I made a few observations that I'll write about later, but for now here's (part of)* my letter:

Dear Heidi:
High school has been pretty rough for you, hasn't it? I know you are concerned about your weight. I know you wonder what's wrong with you and why nobody's asking you out. I know you think you're ugly and that you wish you looked like the other girls at school. I know finding real friends has been a struggle for you.  I know you feel like you don't fit in.  I know you're waking up in the middle of the night crying your eyes out for hours at a time, without knowing why you're doing it.

I know you think Mom and Dad are too strict. Maybe they are, but they're strict because they love you. Yes, you're a bit sheltered, but you know what? That's not the worst thing in the world. In fact, you will become a strict parent, too. Having rules and boundaries at 16 may seem like a drag, but it won't take you too long to figure out you were better off not doing the things you were wanting to. At 35 you'll have less regrets than most people you know. Regrets are one thing it's always best to have few of.

I promise things will get better for you.  Who you are at 16 is NOT who you are for life. Heck, the person you see in the mirror right now is not who you will be in 2 years.  These years are a part of your story, but they aren't your entire story.  There will be a time, in the not too distant future, where you're going to have a hard time remembering the things that seem so important to you right now.  As important as it seems like high school is, it's not.  College is where you'll form friendships you have for life and it's where you'll grow in to your own.

You will go away to college and form amazing friendships that will last a lifetime. 3 years from now you won't even know where your high school friends are living, but your roommate from your freshman year of college will straighten the train of your wedding dress and be one of the first people you call when your children are born.

When you get to college you'll be able to "start over" and truly be who you are, without anybody elses' expectations.  You will struggle, but you will become stronger than you ever thought you could be.  After a few rough years, and some big mistakes, you will come out on the other side with a strength and independence that only comes from experience.

There will be some amazing people that come into your life.  Pay attention and listen to their wisdom.  Don't blow off those who are older than you who are trying to tell you what they wished they knew at your age.  With age comes perspective and experience.  You may not think their words apply to you, but later on you'll think, "She was right . . . "

Though you can't see it now, things turn out very well for you.  In fact, they'll turn out better than you can possibly imagine.  You will get married to an amazing guy and have great kids.  It may not happen as early as you wanted thought it would, but the right guy is DEFINITELY worth the wait and you will never regret your decision to marry him.  In your circle of friends you may feel like an "old maid" for not walking down the aisle until you were 27, but it's a lot less time than the 37 years your husband waited to say, "I do" (and 27 isn't that old . . .)

Life is GREAT at 35! Enjoy the ride . . .

Love,
You

P.S.  You are much better looking in your 30's than you were at 16 . . .





What would your letter to yourself say?


*Considering I'm posting this on the internet there are some things I omitted because they are best not said in the public domain . . .