What's The Word?

I've never been one who has had a "Word of the Year."  There's no reason I haven't, other than it just hasn't been my thing.

I'm in a private Facebook group of amazing Christian women who have become precious to me.  As 2015 drew to a close several ladies were talking about their word for 2016 and had said God gave their word to them.   I said I had never prayed and asked for a word, nor had a given it much thought, but after 2015, which was the hardest year of my life, to date I chose the word "healing" for myself.  Basically every aspect of my life needs God to touch it and heal it.  While 2015 seems to be marked by struggle, I want 2016 to be marked with healing.

A few days later I truly believe God gave me a different word: Simple

In the past 6-9 months I've spent a lot of time pondering the Ghandi quote, "Live simply, so that other may simply live."  The more I spend on myself, and my own wants, the less I have to spend on others.  Conversely, the less I spend on my wants, the more I have to meet the needs of others.

This summer I talked about how I am am uncomfortably comfortable and I have continued to wrestle with the things I wrote there.  This is a journey, and I don't know if I will have ever arrived in this life.

I don't know when I started, but I recently began using the hashtag #SpendLessGiveMore in my social media posts as it seemed like the best way to condense the Ghandi quote into less than 140 characters.

It's not just about money, though.  As I explained to a friend when we were talking about our words of the year:

My simplicity is about so much more than money.

I want to simplify ALL areas of my life so I can savor and enjoy the best parts of it.  I'm cutting out all the extras.  I'm cutting out the stuff "people" tell me our family needs.  I'm not doing what Pinterest or other social media formats tell me I *should* be doing--I'm living simply and intentionally.

I want to have energy at the end of the day and at at the end of the week to invest in those I love and the things I'm passionate about.  I don't want to give the best of me to something that's not eternal.

So, 2016 will be the year I ask myself, "Is this eternal?" before I spend my time, energy or resources on something.

After losing our friend I'm even more focused on how short life is. I want to invest the best of me now.  My oldest is 9.  He has lived almost half of his life under our roof already . . . we only have about 9 more years with him at home.  These past 9 years have gone in a blur.   I want to live each of these next 9 years pouring into him--the same with my 7 year old.  It's only 11 years until she launches into the "real world".  I'm simplifying our lives to maximize time together.

Hard Things Are Hard

It's been a hard few months, which is why I've been absent.

My last published post in August described a rough week.  Within days of that post my neighbor and our friend's brother passed away.  One left this life on Wednesday and the other on Thursday.

Since then life has been even harder. I've written this blog several times in my head.  Even 2.5 months later I'm having a hard time.

On October 19 one of our best friends died suddenly.  His name is Hal Shrader.  My husband and Hal grew up in the same church together and knew each other for over 40 years.  Their youth pastor when they were growing up is now the Senior Pastor at my church and his tribute is still one of my favorites.

My husband and Hal grew up together, but it wasn't until they were in their 20's and out of college they became close.  My husband's first "real job" out of college moved him to the same town in CA where Hal had just moved with his new wife, Chrisie, which happened to be her home town.  During those years in CA the two of them spent a lot of time together and my husband was "adopted" into the extended family.  Chrisie's parents brought my husband into their fold and were his "CA parents".   My husband eventually came back to AZ, but the two kept in touch.  Among other things, when we got married Hal & Cal Jernigan (our church's Senior Pastor) performed our wedding.  Hal's daughters were our flower girls.  Our kids call the Shraders Uncle Hal & Aunt Chrisie.  Hal's grandmother inspired my Just A Mom post several years ago that caused me to think of motherhood as my ministry.

On October 8 my son had his tonsils removed.  On October 10 Hal & Chrisie came over to see the patient and to bring him a "get well" toy.  Hal and my 9 year old built a Darth Vader Lego set while my husband and I visited with Chrisie.   That was the last time we saw Hal. My husband was texting him at about 11am Monday, October 19 and by dinner that night he was gone.

Hal's funeral was Friday, October 30.   The next Wednesday I was home with my daughter while my husband and son were at Cub Scouts.  I was reading a tribute to Hal when my phone rang and I saw it was my dad.  I don't know the last time my dad called me (he usually texts) and my immediate thought was, "God, no.  I can't take another one of these phone calls."   My dad was calling me, on behalf of my mom, to say that my maternal grandma had died suddenly.  She wasn't feeling well that morning, took a nap and never woke up.

Needless to say it's been a hard season.   Until 2015 I'd been relatively unaffected by death and hadn't lost anyone close to me.  The relatives who had died previously were ones that either died when I was young (as is the case with my paternal grandfather who died 3 weeks before I turned 5) or were people like my Great Grandparents who lived far away and who I didn't know well.  

All of my grandparents live(d) in Southern California and in June we took a "Grandparents Tour" where we visited my 3 living grandparents over a 4 day period.  I'm glad we did since I am now down to 2 grandparents.

My husband and I had talked about how, since I'd reached 39 with a limited exposure to death, that when my grandparents started dying I would probably have a lot to deal with in a relatively short period of time (My Tutu, who recently passed was 86.  My maternal grandfather is 87 & my maternal grandmother is 85) and that it would hit me hard.  Because of Hal & my Tutu dying less than 3 weeks apart my introduction to the grieving process has been intense to say the least.  Both deaths were sudden (well, as sudden as you can expect from a woman who has lived 86 years).

A Brutifal Weekend

"Brutifal" is defined by Glennon Doyle Melton of the Momestary blog as a combination of brutal & beautiful.  While it's not found in the Oxford dictionary I think it's the best way to describe the past few days.

Thursday--My oldest turned 9! YAY!

Friday morning--I woke up to the news that someone we know from church lost their son, who hadn't yet reached his second birthday, to a battle with pediatric cancer

Friday early afternoon--I checked Facebook after having lunch with my husband and found an update on a friend's younger brother who is terminally ill and has been fighting brain cancer for years.  The update wasn't good.  This young husband/father/son/brother/cousin/uncle/nephew is most likely not long for this earth.  This young man's family is extremely special to us and we are grieving alongside them

Friday afternoon, 3pm--I was leaving to pick my kids up from school with the home health nurse who cares for the woman across the street told me that she has entered into the last phase before death and to expect her to pass this weekend

Saturday afternoon--We were leaving for a Saturday evening service at church when the home health nurse from across the street told us the family would like us to be there when the priest came to give our neighbor her last rites.  Our plans changed, and instead of heading to church we spent the evening with our neighbor's family. We cried at her bedside as the priest prayed for her. We looked through her wedding album with her adult daughter.  We talked baseball with her adult son.  We listened to stories from her husband of 50+ years.  We sat and watched football with her brother.  We visited with a friend of hers she's had for 53 years.

Sunday morning---After a fitful night of sleep spent praying for our neighbor's family I was woken up by my 9 year old telling me his little sister's fish had died.

Sunday mid-morning--As I left to do last minute birthday party errands the nurse across the street told me our neighbor is still hanging on, but her time is coming quickly.

Sunday afternoon--We spent several hours with a pool full of 8 & 9 year old boys celebrating our son with his friends

It's currently 4pm Sunday and at 7:30 tonight my niece is checking into the hospital to have labor induced as she and her husband  are expecting their 1st child.  This will be my sister-in-law's 4th grandchild.  God willing they'll welcome the newest member of the family in the next few hours.

Some weekends are brutal.  Some weekends are beautiful.   This one was both.

Shopping With A Purpose!

Nothing fancy, but a quick blog, inspired by a friend's Facebook post last night about Gospel centered Fair Trade items made by artisans around the world.  Most of these (but, admittedly not all) are non-profits so the money goes directly to the artisans and there are no "middle men" taking a cut.

Here are a few I'm aware of.  Please leave comments below with others so you can help spread the word!

I've mentioned my love for the Fair Trade Friday subscription club.  There are 2 options: a monthly box with 3-4 items inside and an Earring of the Month option.   I LOVE all of my Fair Trade Friday items and love having thoughtful gifts on hand to give to family and friends.

Many of the groups below are ones I've discovered through my Fair Trade Friday subscription box.  I have shopped from several of these groups after discovering their purpose!

By shopping from these groups you are empowering women, providing men with dignified work, helping break the cycle of poverty and, in some cases, providing education!

Happy Shopping!

The Refugee Project--The Refugee Project is in Houston, TX and is made up from artisans from all over the world who have been relocated to the United States by the United Nations.  You can read the stories of many of the ladies who are hand crocheting items on the site.  I gave my niece and her husband a handmade baby blanket as they wait to meet their 1st child in August!

JOYN--After receiving several items from Joyn in my Fair Trade Friday box I have placed orders for other items.  I now have headbands, scarves, a key chain and a clutch from JOYN.  I also have given scarves and headbands as gifts.  JOYN is located in Northern India, at the base of the Himalayas.  One of the things I love about Joyn is that they tell you the names of each of the artisans involved in creating the product.  I save all of my tags so that I can pray for the heart of the ones who have made the items I love so much.

One of my favorite ministries is The Mercy House, a maternity home for girls in Kenya who have become pregnant due to heartbreaking situations.  In fact, Fair Trade Friday was born as a ministry of The Mercy House!  The Mercy House has an online shop  where you can purchase items that support the ministry. Several of the items are made by the residents of the home.  I have necklaces, bracelets and even the framed Africa picture.


Amazima Ministries--Amazima was founded by Katie Davis, author of Kisses From Katie.  Items are made by artisans in Jinga, Uganda.

Rahab's Rope--Shop at Rahab's Rope to help stop human trafficking

Village Artisan-

No.41

Mercy Goods

Tukula--One of the items I received in my Fair Trade Friday box from Tukula included a tag saying it was made by Susan in Jinga, Uganda and her picture is on the tag.

Grain of Rice Project

Timbali Crafts

Caring for Korah

Shop With A Mission

Free Set Gobal

3 Cords Haiti

MadeNewCo.

Reclaimed Project

Root Collective

Ruhuma Designs---A group that rescues minors who have been sold into commercial prostitution.  The items in the store have been made by these girls.

Where'd you get that?

You know how it goes . . . you wear something cute and your friend asks "I love that necklace! Where'd you get it?"  She's asking because she wants it, too! Isn't this one of the highest compliments we give each other?

If you've seen me in the past year I've most likely wearing something I received from my membership in Fair Trade Friday.   If you've asked me about it, I've probably shared my passion for the subscription club and I may've even told you the names of the artisan(s) who made it!  See, each month I receive 3-4 items made by artisans around the world. Many of the items have the names of the person (or people) who were made it.  For example, one of the items I received from FTF came from JOYN.  The fabric was handwoven by Noel, block printed by Raju and stitched by Pema.  I save all of the tags so I can pray for the people who made my favorite items.

Some of these items I've kept for myself (I'm a sucker for necklaces and bracelets) and others I've given as gifts.  Even if it doesn't see the light of day (which wouldn't happen because this stuff is too cute!) the purpose of my items have already been fulfilled because the person making it has earned a fair wage and is able to support their family with dignity.  In a world where many of the items are made by slave labor it's freeing to know that these items are not.

In addition to the original Fair Trade Friday Club there's also an Earring of the Month Club if earrings are your thing. Whether you love earrings or love giving them as gifts this is a fashionable way to add to your jewelry wardrobe each month with a unique piece that is changing the world for an artisan and her family!

Because I can't keep a good secret and because I love to share I'm giving away this pair of earrings from Fair Trade Friday!

Enter below to win these gorgeous earrings from Earring of the Month Club will run from July 6, 2015- July 13, 2015! Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Uncomfortably comfortable

The past few months (years?) God has really been working on my heart and mind.  I've wanted to write this blog for that long, but have been overwhelmed as to where to start.  Entire books have been written on the subject and sometimes I wonder if my post has anything to add to the discussion.  I have held on to this post for years because of fear--fear of being misunderstood. Fear of letting my left hand know what my right hand was doing when talking about these issues.

Here are the things I'm thinking:

**I'm uncomfortable with much of American culture.

**I'm uncomfortable with the desire for "more".

What am I doing with these verses?

"I tell you the truth.  Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine [those who are hungry, thirsty, in need of clothes, sick or in prison] you did for me." -Jesus  (Matthew 25:40)
What have I done for Jesus TODAY by helping the hungry, the thirsty, the one in prison, the one in need of clothes? What have I done in the past? What will I do tomorrow?

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.  What good is it for a man to gain the whole world and yet lose or forfeit his very self?"--Jesus (Luke 9:23-25) What does denying myself look like? What if I denied myself the desire to eat out and gave that money to a cause close to Jesus' heart? What if I denied myself a new shirt I really don't need (but want) and clothed someone else?

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27 What have I done TODAY to look after widows and orphans in their distress? Have I become polluted by the world? Is my faith accepted by God as pure and faultless?

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."--Jesus (Luke 12:48b) 
I have food to eat and a roof over my head, therefore I have been given much.  Am I giving much? Much has been asked and demanded of me . . . am I doing what I've been told? Am I doing all I've been asked to do or is there more I should be doing?

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."  Philippians 2:3&4 Is my desire to look cute selfish and vain? Am I considering others better than myself when I spend money on my wants (not needs)? Am I looking to the interests of others?

But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?" 1 John 3:17 Does God's love abide in me? Have I closed my heart against those in need? 

"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters [residents] were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me.  Therefore I did away with them as you have seen."  Ezekiel 16:50 If God destroyed Sodom, in part because the citizens were overfed, unconcerned and didn't help the poor and the needy what does that mean for me?

Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.  Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. Psalm 82:3&4 
Am I defending the cause of the week and fatherless? Am I maintaining the rights of the poor and the oppressed?  Am I rescuing the week and the needy from the hand of the wicked?

Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.  Do not say to your neighbor, 'Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow' when you now have it with you.  Proverbs 3:27& 28|
Am I withholding good from those who deserve it? Am I telling those in need to come back later? What have/am I doing TODAY?

He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God." Proverbs 14:31
Am I being kind to the needy by God's standards? Does God see me as oppressing the poor? Not everything I buy is Fair Trade.  Most of the clothes in my closet come from discount stores so I know that they were probably made by slaves.  What does God say about that? [Two of many articles on the issue from Christianity Today and Forbes .  Both have wrecked me (and kept me out of the mall).]

"Love the Lord your god with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" --Jesus  Matthew 22:37-40
Am I loving my neighbor as myself when I take my family out to dinner, but know others can't afford food?  Am I loving my neighbor as myself when I'm spending most of my time, talents and resources on myself?

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do no destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
Am I more concerned about storing up my treasures on earth (a house worthy of HGTV or Pinterest, fashionable clothes, a nice car, fabulous vacations, etc) than I am about storing up treasures in heaven?

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other.  You cannot serve both God and money."--Jesus  Matthew 6:24
Am I attempting to serve two masters? If push came to shove would I choose God over material comforts?


These are just SOME of the questions I'm wrestling with.  Here's what I know: If I can afford to spend $50 a month on eating out I can afford $38/mo to sponsor a child through Compassion International. If I can afford my son's baseball registration fees I can help a mother & her baby in Kenya through Mercy House.  If I can afford to save for a vacation I can afford $30/month to buy gifts and accessories through Fair Trade Friday to support artisans around the world.

One of my regular prayers is, "God, show us how to be better stewards of what you've given us.  We know EVERYTHING we have is from You.  We know NOTHING we have is for us to hoard for ourselves.  We know You've commanded us to love others.  We know You've demanded much from us, because much has been given to us.  What do you want us to do with what You've given us?"

Money is finite.  I get that, but I also know that love is sacrifice.  What am I sacrificing to show others God's love?

Why I already know what my kids are getting for high school graduation!

Ok . . . my kids are only 8 & 6.  High school graduation isn't for another 10 & 12 years, BUT I already have their graduation gifts purchased! I'm not a "buy Christmas presents on December 23" person, but neither am I a "I have all my gifts purchased in January for next year." person So . . . what would prompt me to buy gifts in March, 2015 or events that won't happen until May, 2025 and May 2027????

A few days ago I was at a luncheon with Moms in Prayer leaders from all over Phoenix area.

We had several speakers who talked about the 4 steps of prayer we use in MIP: Praising God for who He is, Thanking God for what He has giving us, Confession, and Intercession.  While at Moms in Prayer we pray the Scriptures over our kids, their teachers, and their schools.

One of the speakers is now an "empty nester" whose kids aren't in school any longer, but she continues to gather with the same ladies who have been praying for their kids for 20+ years.  This sweet woman has now been "promoted" to grandma.  The woman who spoke to us moms still "in the trenches" said that 3x (one for each of her kids) she put her "regular" Bible down and picked up one for her child.  That Bible was the only Bible she used that year.  As she read through the Bible that year she marked it up with highlights and made notes in it for her child as she prayed the Scriptures for that child.  This woman did this for each of her kids and now plans to do it for each of her grandkids.

The woman said she gave each of her kids their marked up, prayed over, Bible and they now consider it one of their most prized possessions  (along with the quilt she made for each of them of their dad's old shirts, since their dad is now with Jesus).  I absolutely LOVED the idea and decided to do it for each of my kids.   Because my kids are 8 & 6 I don't think they'd truly appreciate the gift at this age, but I was thinking high school graduation would be an amazing time to present it to them!

I heard this on Friday and bought the kids each a Bible on Monday to get this project started.

For my kids I'm modifying it slightly . . . I will still use "my" Bible for things like church where my kids will see it.  I have my kids' new Bibles hidden so that they won't see them, yet.  I know my kids well enough to know that if they see me reading a new one they'll wonder why and I don't want to spill the secret, yet.

I am starting with my 8 year old's Bible since he'll graduate first! I am using a Bible in One Year reading plan on my phone to track my progress.  I am reading in his paper Bible, but am using the app to track my progress and give me a schedule.  Right now my son's Bible is tucked into my nightstand drawer while my daughter's is hidden in my closet.

As soon as I got back from the meeting on Friday I posted the idea on my Facebook page and several friends liked it, and some said they were going to start it.   After I bought the Bibles Monday I shared a picture on Facebook and Instagram of the Bibles I'd purchased.

Over the weekend a friend asked what kids of things I was writing in the Bible.  I'm basically highlighting and taking notes the way I would for myself.  I am also writing notes to my son with the prayers I am praying for him as I read.  For example, after reading Psalm 1 Psalm 1 I wrote "We pray you will not walk in step with the wicked.  We pray your delight will be in God's word.  We pray you will be like a tree planted in streams of water whose leaf does not wither."  Not every prayer will be able to be written out like that, due to space constraints, but that's an example.   As I am reading through Proverbs I am highlighting a lot since there is a lot of wisdom in there :)

I can't think of a better way to send our kids off to college than with the knowledge than seeing what Mom prayed for them as they were growing up.

P.S. If you know my kids . . . PLEASE don't mention this! It's a surprise!