One rule in our house that is hard and fast: the kids are not allowed to play with our smartphones or our tablets. Period. It's not negotiable and not something we're changing our minds on. It's something we feel very strongly about. We're not giving them a $400 piece of electronics to break. Our kids (now 4 & 6) are only given books to keep them entertained on road trips (including those over 6 hours). When my 4 year old is the only kid at my Moms in Prayer meeting every week and needs to be kept quiet while we pray she has a backpack of books to read and coloring books and crayons to keep her entertained. If we're out to dinner (a very rare occurrence) the kids know that coloring on their placemats is their only source of entertainment. If I have to wait at a doctor's appointment with the kids the backpack of books and coloring books comes with us. Instead of teaching them to be entertained by electronics we want them to learn how to entertain themselves and how to handle themselves in "adult" situations without being pacified by electronics.
Our kids also have never owned any sort of handheld game like a Leapfrog or DS and I can't see a time where they will. It's just not going to happen in our house.
I could write entire blogs about our reasoning for each of these, but I won't right now. I just thought I would get it out on the table. (As a side note, every family is different and I get that. This is what we do and what we're making work for us).
That was about entertainment when we're away from the house. What about when we're home? How do we handle the kids' endless requests to play computer (Thanks to hand-me-downs from relatives and Savers, a local secondhand store, the kids each have their own refurbished PC's), watch TV or play Wii? We give them poker chips.
No, we're not teaching them to play poker (though my 6 year old is quite good at "adult" Yahtzee). We use the poker chips to regulate "screen time", teach the kids time management and curb the "Just one more show . . . " whines.
I fully admit there were times the kids were watching TV, playing computer or playing Wii that I lost track of time and realized later just how long they'd been zoned out in front of a screen. I knew something had to be done to keep me accountable, too. During one of our trips to Savers I saw a box of poker chips and our system got developed.
Each kid has a Ziploc bag with their name on it that I keep on top of the fridge. Every Monday I fill each bag with 1 blue chip, 4 red chips and 4 white chips for a total of 4 hours of "screen time" over the course of 7 days. When someone asks to watch TV, play computer or play Wii I ask them what color chip they're going to give me and I set a timer accordingly. Our oven and microwave each have a timer so it's not unusual for both timers to be set simultaneously. If I'm cooking dinner and need one of the kitchen timers I use my cell phone to monitor screen time.
When chips are gone for the week, they're gone. One week both kids ran out of chips on Wednesday. They were bummed about the lack of electronics the rest of the week (including none on the weekends), but they quickly learned that if they want to be able to watch TV on Saturday they better not waste them all on Tuesday :)
We have been doing this for several months and it has worked out very well. My son is in all day Kindergarten and my daughter is in preschool 2 mornings a week. My daughter does not get any more chips than my son. During the week my son was on Spring Break he didn't get any extra chips.
Chips can (and are) lost as punishment. My son's teacher has "Clip It" system in her classroom with 7 color "levels" indicating a child's behavior. Every child starts the day on green. There are 3 colors up (pink, blue, purple) and 3 colors down (yellow, orange, red). If my son gets the highest level (purple) I give him an extra red chip that day.
Chips can only be "cashed in" after homework and chores are done.
Before we used this the kids would often ignore my "Turn the TV off" commands or would ask for "Just one more game" on the Wii. Now the timer is the bad guy, not me. :) It doesn't matter if they're in the middle of the game or in the middle of a show---if the timer goes off they know they either need to give me a chip or turn the screen off. Immediately.
Our kids' computers are locked down so that the only websites they can go to are DisneyJunior.com and DrSuess.com. The only games they have on their computers are Reader Rabbit educational games.
We realize that as our kids get older it may not be as easy (or desirable) to continue our ban on the kids' use of our smartphones and tablets. We also realize that this system may not work forever, but it works for now.
I love your poker chip system. I also like how you are aware that your system may not work forever, but it works for now and I'm glad you found a good fit for your family. We did something similar when our kids were younger. Now that they are 8, 12, and 14 our system looks different and it varies depending on each child. I also feel like we go through seasons when our kids are really into electronics and then we go through times when they could careless. Our three kids are also totally different in how they feel about electronics. One of ours isn't into electronics and would rather be doing something active so I don't have a regulated system with him. When he does have screen time it only lasts about 20 minutes and then he's ready to move on. My other two however enjoy their share of electronics. So we have a standing rule that after homeschool and chores are done, you can plug in for a while and then after a set amount of time, it's time to get active. They do pretty good regulating their own time with few reminders here and there. BUT, all this to say I think back to the days when I was a child. We had no computer, no hand held device, no video games, no cell phones and only a few channels on TV. Our lives were so much more simple. And our parents were so much more available and not distracted. I wish we didn't have to figure out how to regulate all this technology. As parents in this day and age, we are certainly in a learning generation and every family is different in what they come up with. I don't beleive there is one right way, each family has to figure out what lines up with their schedules, their values, and their children's personalities. I appreciate reading about what works for your family.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post, Heidi. :-)
ReplyDeleteLove this. What a great solution - especially for families who may be looking to find a solution to cut back or maintain limits! Pinning this to my "screen-time" pinterest board!
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