What's Most Valuable?

"Time is the most valuable thing that we have, because it is the most irrevocable"--Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Letters and Papers from Prison)

I just returned from a church service where the pastor taught on the small things in life and how important they are.  God really spoke to me in the message, and I'm anticipating writing several blogs just on what I heard tonight because the sermon spoke exactly to where I am and some of the things God has been working on me with for the past several months. 

My son just turned 5 and my daughter will be 3 this month.  The wallpaper on our computer rotates through all of our pictures and lately there have been  A LOT from my childrens' infancy. I get a bit wistful when I look at pictures from they day they were born and their baby days because I know they are days I'll never get back.  These pictures are a daily reminder of how quickly the time has already gone, and how fast it will continue to go.  Several years ago I heard a quote that has become my mantra, "The days are long, but the years are short."

I have caught myself wishing the days away and looking forward to when the kids are off at school all day and I'm able to accomplish tasks (like going to the bathroom!) by myself, but then I remember the words of friends whose children are older that tell me to enjoy these years.  I confess I'm not a perfect parent and I yell too much.  There are definitely days with my strong-willed first born that I am not enjoying him and am looking forward to the time when I have a break from the constant battles we face.  That same little boy has an incredibly tender spirit that melts my heart (when he's not having a meltdown).  My son is definitely a lot like me and he's a cuddler, so the moments when we're not fighting and he's curled up in my lap are the times I just wish I could stop time.  In those moments I ask him, "Can you just stay this age forever?"

Because my son's birthday is less than 2 weeks before the school cut-off date for our district my husband and I decided while I was pregnant with him that we would start him in Kindergarten when he was 6, instead of having him barely make the cut-off and start school when he's 5.   This is the last year I have at home with my son before he goes off to Kindergarten all day and I'm trying to savor every moment knowing that once he starts school our days spent building forts, taking trips to the zoo, cuddling under a blanket watching movies, etc. are going to change.

I confess I've "given away" a lot of time during these precious years I won't get back.  I've been busy at church, I've spent too much time on the computer, I've run errands until I dropped, I've scheduled play dates on days we don't have anything else going, etc.  Recently a friend brought to my attention that kids spell love T-I-M-E and that it's not about the "quality" as much as it's about the "quantity" of time I spend with them.  As a result, I have cut way back on my commitments at church and my other activities because right now my most important ministry is that of Mom to my little ones.   In 20 years my kids won't know or care that I was on 5 committees or that I was on "leadership" at church, but they'll (hopefully) remember that I tucked them in every night, I played silly games with them, etc.   Even if my kids don't remember I know I will . . .

(to be continued . . . )