What if I'd stayed?

I left my hometown (and home state) right out of high school to move where I live now. I moved quite a bit as a kid . . . 6 houses before my 12th birthday in several different parts of the same state, but lived in the same house for all of jr. high and high school.

I wasn't one of those people who loved high school. I never really felt like I fit in, and when I went away to college I didn't really feel like I left anybody behind that I was especially close to. Despite this, I had every intention of moving back "home" after graduation. The funny thing is, while not perfect, over the course of time the place I live now has become home to me.

Because of Facebook I am now in touch with people I graduated with, some of whom still live in the same town we went to school in. I saw a conversation today between a girl I graduated with (who I only knew of, didn't know well) and another girl I was acquaintances with. It got me thinking . . . who would I be today if I still lived there? I'll never know the answer to that, but I have a pretty good idea of who I've become as a result of moving permanently at 18 to a city and state where I didn't know anybody.

I became independent in a way I don't know if I would've been in my hometown. When times got tough and I couldn't afford food or rent going home to Mom and Dad's wasn't an option for me. I didn't have a place to go to do laundry for free or to get a free meal.

I had to step out of my comfort zone and develop new relationships. Though talkative once I'm comfortable, I'm not good at reaching out and establishing friendships. Since I didn't know anybody and didn't have a past history to rely on I had to seek out new friends. At a party where I don't know people I'm the girl hanging out in the corner waiting for someone to talk to me.

I learned about who I was as an adult and wasn't pigeonholed by my peers who had known me at 12.

Most importantly I made the decision to enter into the most important relationship of my life when I chose to become a follower of Christ. It's another post for another day, but I don't think I would've become a Christian if I'd stayed in my hometown.

I knew moving away from home to go to college was a big step back then, but what I didn't know when I waved good-bye to my parents and the life I'd had back home was how much I'd change here in the desert.