The kids and I headed to the splash pad this morning and had a blast! My kids were among the biggest there and I'm thinking this is an activity they'll be outgrowing soon, but for now . . . they loved it!
Other than having fun at the splash pad one of the things I've got going today is making yogurt. Several years ago I knew a few people who had yogurt making machines. I looked into them one day, saw the price and decided I couldn't imagine how much yogurt I'd have to make before I "broke even" and the machine became cost effective. That quick Swagbucks search was enough to begin and end any thought I had of making yogurt myself.
In the meantime I had pretty much stopped buying yogurt after reading the ingredient list. Yeah---it didn't look like a healthy snack at all after that. That kind of bummed me out because my kids LOVE yogurt!
Along came Stacy from Stacy Makes Cents. Once I saw her post about making homemade yogurt I was HOOKED! I'm not a great cook, and I'm lazy, but I can totally do this! It's EASY and I can make a gallon of yogurt for the same price as a gallon of milk and without all the junk! YAY! (The first time I had to buy some yogurt for the cultures, but every other time I just save same from the previous batch to use). There's not a huge time commitment involved, either which means I'm able to get it going and then leave it alone and let it do it's thing while we go on with our day. Even warming/cooling the milk is low maintenance (as long as I don't forget about it, which I've never done *cough cough*). As my 4 year old says, "Easy peasy lemon sqeezy". (Thank you Goofy for that one)
Since I make a gallon at a time I use 4 quart mason jars and 1 half pint one. The half-pint (anybody else think of Laura Ingalls Wilder when they hear "Half Pint"??) one is what I use to save the starter for next time.
During the school year 1 gallon lasts about a week because I add some frozen fruit to the plain yogurt and pack it in school lunches when we're low on fresh fruit. (By the time lunch rolls around the fruit has defrosted and, when stirred it flavors the whole container). I also make "jelly yogurt" where I add organic strawberry jelly from Coscto to flavor the yogurt. Occassionally I will just add raw honey. Plain yogurt isn't the tastiest thing ever so I do sweeten it, but with things *I* add, not a list of stuff I can't pronounce and that's created in a lab.
I'm out of "regular" yogurt because this week I used it to make Greek yogurt to use in recipes like tzatziki sauce and strawberry protein pancake roll ups with yogurt filling so the time has come to make some more.
I had to pick up milk at the store after our trip to the splash pad. I didn't have a gallon of whole milk in the fridge, otherwise I would've been able to get everything going before our outing this morning. (The kids drink 1% milk, but I use whole milk for yogurt for the extra creaminess). Right now the milk is cooling and I'm about to put it in the jars and oven.
Thanks, Stacy for teaching me how easy (and inexpensive) it is to make yogurt! :)
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Off and running
Well . . . today is Thursday, which makes it the 3rd day I've been home with the kids since school let out for the summer. Since I'm only a year removed from having both kids home full-time it's not a HUGE adjustment for me, but it still is.
I absolutely love the idea of sending the kids outside for several hours to keep themselves entertained. I am a firm believer that my kids need to be bored, they need to come up with their own entertainment and I am not their entertainment director. (As much as my kids would like for me to be, I'm not responsible for making sure they're always entertained)
I say I like the idea of sending them outside with a water bottle, but the reality is we live in Phoenix, AZ and it's insanely HOT here in the summer. Preheat your oven to 350 and keep the oven door closed. Once the oven is preheated open it up and stick your face in front of the door. Walking outside kind of feels like that. When the overnight low is 92 you know it was HOT during the day.
As much as I CRAVE the silence that comes from my kids playing outside by themselves and making up their own fun, I can't send them outside to play in an oven for hours. Bummer. I'm also seriously petrified of desert creatures that slither. I saw one cutting through my backyard about 2 years ago. A month or so ago I found one in my garage. I'm not gonna lie--I'm scared to go in my own backyard.
There will still be outdoor activities (swimming!!!) and "entertain yourself" time each day, but the reality is I need to be creative about how to keep the kids entertained, keep myself from going insane and pass the time inside. Mostly keeping them occupied so I stay sane.
Today I made a few more steps towards my primary goal of remaining sane this summer. I already mentioned my journey into pseudo-homeschooling. (which actually may be the straw that takes the last of my sanity or just proves my sanity is completely gone already). Today I finally bought our passes for Harkins Summer Movie Fun. For $7/person we get tickets to 10 movies so for $21 it's not a bad way to spend a few hours a week. Looking at the schedule I knew we weren't going to go this week, but when I bought my tickets this morning they said we could come tomorrow if we want.
Judging by the yelling and fighting going on today it might be nice to be in a quiet theater for a little while :)
After buying our Summer Movie tickets we went to the library to sign up for their summer reading program. I limited the kids to 3 books each because I didn't want to have to keep track of too many, but promised them we can go almost daily to get new ones if they read the ones they checked out today.
Between swimming, "homeschool", movies and reading I'm thinking we're on our way to finding things to do to keep cool and keep entertained this summer!
I absolutely love the idea of sending the kids outside for several hours to keep themselves entertained. I am a firm believer that my kids need to be bored, they need to come up with their own entertainment and I am not their entertainment director. (As much as my kids would like for me to be, I'm not responsible for making sure they're always entertained)
I say I like the idea of sending them outside with a water bottle, but the reality is we live in Phoenix, AZ and it's insanely HOT here in the summer. Preheat your oven to 350 and keep the oven door closed. Once the oven is preheated open it up and stick your face in front of the door. Walking outside kind of feels like that. When the overnight low is 92 you know it was HOT during the day.
As much as I CRAVE the silence that comes from my kids playing outside by themselves and making up their own fun, I can't send them outside to play in an oven for hours. Bummer. I'm also seriously petrified of desert creatures that slither. I saw one cutting through my backyard about 2 years ago. A month or so ago I found one in my garage. I'm not gonna lie--I'm scared to go in my own backyard.
There will still be outdoor activities (swimming!!!) and "entertain yourself" time each day, but the reality is I need to be creative about how to keep the kids entertained, keep myself from going insane and pass the time inside. Mostly keeping them occupied so I stay sane.
Today I made a few more steps towards my primary goal of remaining sane this summer. I already mentioned my journey into pseudo-homeschooling. (which actually may be the straw that takes the last of my sanity or just proves my sanity is completely gone already). Today I finally bought our passes for Harkins Summer Movie Fun. For $7/person we get tickets to 10 movies so for $21 it's not a bad way to spend a few hours a week. Looking at the schedule I knew we weren't going to go this week, but when I bought my tickets this morning they said we could come tomorrow if we want.
Judging by the yelling and fighting going on today it might be nice to be in a quiet theater for a little while :)
After buying our Summer Movie tickets we went to the library to sign up for their summer reading program. I limited the kids to 3 books each because I didn't want to have to keep track of too many, but promised them we can go almost daily to get new ones if they read the ones they checked out today.
Between swimming, "homeschool", movies and reading I'm thinking we're on our way to finding things to do to keep cool and keep entertained this summer!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
I'm Homeschooling!? Say . . .WHAT!?
No, we haven't changed our mind about public school, but I am currently venturing into the world of homeschooling our son while he is on summer break. Come August he will be enrolled in 1st grade at the same neighborhood school where he attended Kindergarten.
I have long been of the belief that in order for a child to get the most out of their education Mom & Dad need to be involved. Part of that involvement, in my opinion, is by enriching at home. After meeting with our son's Kindergarten teacher several times this year she has helped us to see areas where he is excelling and needs to be challenged beyond what I had expected to do with him at home
As a result of the conversations with his teacher, I'm "homeschooling" him this summer. My son is like me and he loves to learn and do workbooks. The balance we'll need to find this summer is between doing his enrichment stuff to keep him academically engaged, while still giving him a chance to have fun and have a summer break. Right now I'm planning on doing less than an hour of school a day.
I'm trying to cover every subject this summer so he's ready to hit the ground running in August. My son LOVES math and is very strong in it, so the math work we're doing is under the direction of his Kindergarten teacher. Since math is his favorite/strongest subject we're going to be doing math almost every day since the crazy kid thinks that's fun. (He OBVIOUSLY didn't get that from me!) When his teacher explained to us how strong he is in math, she suggested I work with him at home. I told her we had work books and she said, "No--he needs curriculum". Um . . . ok. I guess we're doing curriculum. In addition to the resources that have been recommended to me by my friends who homeschool full-time I have taken suggestions from his Kindergarten teacher and have borrowed resources from her. Because I was in my son's Kindergarten class about 2-3 (sometimes 4) times a month I know what type of work he is used to doing and what the 1st grade teachers at his school will be expecting he knows.
Through doing a Swagbucks search for other ideas this morning I found Peace, Love and First Grade which may become my new favorite website for finding ideas for my soon to be first grader! One thing I printed today from there will be his writing assignment tomorrow.
Two days in this is what our "school day" has looked like.
Day 1: 6 pages of Math-U-See worksheets, 10 minutes of reading to me, 10 minutes of me reading to him
Day 2: Math-U-See Beta video, 30 minutes of writing practice
I am NOT good at math and joke he's going to eclipse my math abilities by 4th grade, but fortunately the Math-U-See videos do the teaching and I just guide him through them. (Since he's working on adding and subtracting 3 digit numbers as well as multiplication of single digit numbers he hasn't passed me, yet. PHEW!!) We'll do some science experiements, too, but those intimidate me at least as much as math (if not more since I don't have the teacher on the video to guide me).
Part of why I don't think homeschooling will work for us is I know I'm not disciplined enough (or patient enough) to be my kids' only teacher, but I am enjoying this one on one time with my son while his sister has rest time in her room every day.
I have long been of the belief that in order for a child to get the most out of their education Mom & Dad need to be involved. Part of that involvement, in my opinion, is by enriching at home. After meeting with our son's Kindergarten teacher several times this year she has helped us to see areas where he is excelling and needs to be challenged beyond what I had expected to do with him at home
As a result of the conversations with his teacher, I'm "homeschooling" him this summer. My son is like me and he loves to learn and do workbooks. The balance we'll need to find this summer is between doing his enrichment stuff to keep him academically engaged, while still giving him a chance to have fun and have a summer break. Right now I'm planning on doing less than an hour of school a day.
I'm trying to cover every subject this summer so he's ready to hit the ground running in August. My son LOVES math and is very strong in it, so the math work we're doing is under the direction of his Kindergarten teacher. Since math is his favorite/strongest subject we're going to be doing math almost every day since the crazy kid thinks that's fun. (He OBVIOUSLY didn't get that from me!) When his teacher explained to us how strong he is in math, she suggested I work with him at home. I told her we had work books and she said, "No--he needs curriculum". Um . . . ok. I guess we're doing curriculum. In addition to the resources that have been recommended to me by my friends who homeschool full-time I have taken suggestions from his Kindergarten teacher and have borrowed resources from her. Because I was in my son's Kindergarten class about 2-3 (sometimes 4) times a month I know what type of work he is used to doing and what the 1st grade teachers at his school will be expecting he knows.
Through doing a Swagbucks search for other ideas this morning I found Peace, Love and First Grade which may become my new favorite website for finding ideas for my soon to be first grader! One thing I printed today from there will be his writing assignment tomorrow.
Two days in this is what our "school day" has looked like.
Day 1: 6 pages of Math-U-See worksheets, 10 minutes of reading to me, 10 minutes of me reading to him
Day 2: Math-U-See Beta video, 30 minutes of writing practice
I am NOT good at math and joke he's going to eclipse my math abilities by 4th grade, but fortunately the Math-U-See videos do the teaching and I just guide him through them. (Since he's working on adding and subtracting 3 digit numbers as well as multiplication of single digit numbers he hasn't passed me, yet. PHEW!!) We'll do some science experiements, too, but those intimidate me at least as much as math (if not more since I don't have the teacher on the video to guide me).
Part of why I don't think homeschooling will work for us is I know I'm not disciplined enough (or patient enough) to be my kids' only teacher, but I am enjoying this one on one time with my son while his sister has rest time in her room every day.
It's on my mind . . .
Last Sunday night I signed off of Facebook. I checked once about an hour later because I have no will power. About midweek I was on for less than 2 minutes (I can't remember why, but probably because I needed a "fix"). Friday I went on for less than 30 seconds to accept a friend request I knew was coming and to post a link to It's Over!.
That's it. I haven't "liked" anything, commented on a status, seen a picture or posted a status update in over a week. That's a record for me. I've gone a few days before while being out of town, and away from internet while in the mountains, but this is the longest I've been home and off of Facebook since I joined in January, 2009.
Honestly, I haven't missed it as much as I thought I would (from a confirmed Facebook addict). A week away has been a good thing and I'm not sure when I'm going back.
I'm still thinking in Facebook statuses, though.
Since I'm not signed on to Facebook here are a few status updates I normally would've posted:
**It turns out I wasn't emotional about today being my son's last day of Kindergarten--until I saw a friend at the after school pick up and said "Last day of Kindergarten". THEN the tears came. Wow.
**After going to The Yard this weekend which was simultaneously family friendly AND a very cool "seen and be seen" type of place I'm thankful I'm no longer single and doing the whole bar scene thing.
**For a moment, while at the "seen and be seen" restaurant/bar/hangout spot I was looking enviously at the young girls in their cute clothes, perfect hair/make up and "I haven't had two kids" bodies and then I realized---I wouldn't trade places with them for anything in the world. First of all, even when I was young and in my 20's I didn't look like that, but most importantly, I have a man who loves me, who supports me and who I get to raise 2 kids with. I bet many of those girls are jealous of me :)
**I'm thankful that people my husband has known for nearly 40 years are not only people we're still in touch with, but ones that I couldn't imagine "doing life" without
**Celebrating the 16th birthday of one of the flower girls from our wedding! As crazy as that is, it's even crazier to me that [my son] is basically the same age now as she was then. (We got married 2 months before she turned 7. Our son will be 7 in just a little less than 3 months)
**One thing I'm NOT going to miss now that school is over for the summer? Sand from my son's shoes EVERYWHERE, including in the dryer's lint trap.
**After a wonderful 3 day weekend of family time I'm really not looking forward to [my husband] having to go back to work tomorrow
**Out of habit I went straight to my closet after waking up to get dressed for the day. After realizing we didn't need to be out the door first thing this morning I decided to stay in my pj's a little while longer :)
**The first order of business on the first official day of summer vacation is going to the grocery store. Not anybody's 1st choice in activities for the day, but since we all like to eat having food in the house is a must (and can't be delayed any longer)
**I can already tell what one of my favorite things about summer vacation is going to be: my kids can entertain each other (when her big brother is at school my daughter gets lonely and must be the center of my attention). I can also already tell what is going to be one of my least favorite things about summer vacation: the fighting :)
**My son happened to see that tonight's ESPN game is the Angels vs. the Dodgers! Since playing on the Dodgers this year in Little League he's become a huge Dodgers fan--and he KNOWS how Mommy feels about the Angels. If the game weren't on at bedtime (and if he didn't get so cranky if he stays up late) we would watch it together :)
**Just went BIG grocery shopping (as in Mother Heidi's cupboards were BARE) with both kids for the first time in a long time. I quickly remembered why this is one of the things I fantasized about doing alone for many years and why it's a chore best accomplished while the kids are at school/preschool :)
**While I can't forsee it being full-time for our family for a variety of reasons, Summer Homeschool Day 1 is successfully in the books! Most importantly, neither the student nor the mommy teacher cried or yelled. Yay us!
That's it. I haven't "liked" anything, commented on a status, seen a picture or posted a status update in over a week. That's a record for me. I've gone a few days before while being out of town, and away from internet while in the mountains, but this is the longest I've been home and off of Facebook since I joined in January, 2009.
Honestly, I haven't missed it as much as I thought I would (from a confirmed Facebook addict). A week away has been a good thing and I'm not sure when I'm going back.
I'm still thinking in Facebook statuses, though.
Since I'm not signed on to Facebook here are a few status updates I normally would've posted:
**It turns out I wasn't emotional about today being my son's last day of Kindergarten--until I saw a friend at the after school pick up and said "Last day of Kindergarten". THEN the tears came. Wow.
**After going to The Yard this weekend which was simultaneously family friendly AND a very cool "seen and be seen" type of place I'm thankful I'm no longer single and doing the whole bar scene thing.
**For a moment, while at the "seen and be seen" restaurant/bar/hangout spot I was looking enviously at the young girls in their cute clothes, perfect hair/make up and "I haven't had two kids" bodies and then I realized---I wouldn't trade places with them for anything in the world. First of all, even when I was young and in my 20's I didn't look like that, but most importantly, I have a man who loves me, who supports me and who I get to raise 2 kids with. I bet many of those girls are jealous of me :)
**I'm thankful that people my husband has known for nearly 40 years are not only people we're still in touch with, but ones that I couldn't imagine "doing life" without
**Celebrating the 16th birthday of one of the flower girls from our wedding! As crazy as that is, it's even crazier to me that [my son] is basically the same age now as she was then. (We got married 2 months before she turned 7. Our son will be 7 in just a little less than 3 months)
**One thing I'm NOT going to miss now that school is over for the summer? Sand from my son's shoes EVERYWHERE, including in the dryer's lint trap.
**After a wonderful 3 day weekend of family time I'm really not looking forward to [my husband] having to go back to work tomorrow
**Out of habit I went straight to my closet after waking up to get dressed for the day. After realizing we didn't need to be out the door first thing this morning I decided to stay in my pj's a little while longer :)
**The first order of business on the first official day of summer vacation is going to the grocery store. Not anybody's 1st choice in activities for the day, but since we all like to eat having food in the house is a must (and can't be delayed any longer)
**I can already tell what one of my favorite things about summer vacation is going to be: my kids can entertain each other (when her big brother is at school my daughter gets lonely and must be the center of my attention). I can also already tell what is going to be one of my least favorite things about summer vacation: the fighting :)
**My son happened to see that tonight's ESPN game is the Angels vs. the Dodgers! Since playing on the Dodgers this year in Little League he's become a huge Dodgers fan--and he KNOWS how Mommy feels about the Angels. If the game weren't on at bedtime (and if he didn't get so cranky if he stays up late) we would watch it together :)
**Just went BIG grocery shopping (as in Mother Heidi's cupboards were BARE) with both kids for the first time in a long time. I quickly remembered why this is one of the things I fantasized about doing alone for many years and why it's a chore best accomplished while the kids are at school/preschool :)
**While I can't forsee it being full-time for our family for a variety of reasons, Summer Homeschool Day 1 is successfully in the books! Most importantly, neither the student nor the mommy teacher cried or yelled. Yay us!
Sunday, May 26, 2013
My Hysterectomy
Warning: This blog is personal, as you can probably gather by the title. In the year since I knew I was having this surgery I have been met with a lot of questions about why I had it a month after turning 36. I am writing it to answer some of the "why" questions I've been asked and to relate my experience before, during and after. If you'd rather not read about "female stuff" I completely understand and am warning you so you can close your browser now :) Honestly, I feel a little weird posting something this personal on the internet, but at the same time it's something I've openly discussed with many people in the past few months and I find there are a lot of questions from women my age so I'm happy to educate based on what I've learned.
The long story short is I've had female problems since puberty. For years several remedies have been prescribed or recommended, but they've all been band-aids and I'd never found an answer to the "Why?" question I've asked countless doctors over the years.
I'd often heard that after having kids things can regulate themselves. From 12/05-12/09 I was pregnant or nursing all but a few months so I didn't really know if things were getting better or not. I had a few good months after I'd stopped nursing my second and I was excited. I had also done a lot of reading about peri-menopause and how a woman's late 30's and 40's can get fairly inconvenient in the years leading up to menopause.
A few months before my 35th birthday things started getting wonky again (or for me--normal). At my annual exam that year I mentioned it to my PCP and she ordered an ultrasound to rule out fibroids. My ultrasound didn't show anything unusual, so my PCP sent me to a gynecologist (one I had never seen. I no longer saw my OB after the birth of my second).
This particular gynecologist was not very patient friendly (actually he was a jerk). At first he just tried saying "If you think things are bad now wait until your 40's". This doctor wasn't listening and before I knew it I had a Mirena IUD, even though I had said repeatedly I did not want to be on artificial hormones. My husband and I had already made a permanent birth control decision so I wasn't using this for that purpose. I went in for a consult with that Dr. and ended up with it before I really had time to think or process since he presented it as my only option and made me make an immediate decision. For several reasons I walked out of that appointment knowing I would NEVER see that particular Dr. again. It truly was a horrible experience. (Thankfully a few months ago I received notice he is leaving that facility).
Immediately I had "buyer's remorse". When I started experiencing negative side effects I called another gynecologist's office (where several of my friends go) about having it removed. Because I'd only had it a few weeks I was told to "give it time" and was told "If you just want to stop bleeding have an ablation". I tried explaining to the nurse practitioner (couldn't see the OB/GYN) what I had explained to the gynecologist who gave me the Mirena--I wasn't looking to treat the symptoms--I wanted to treat the (unknown) cause, but she didn't listen any better than the first gynecologist I saw in this journey.
The Mirena was implanted in August and by mid-October I was breaking out in red, itchy welts. At first the welts came and went and were confined just to part of my legs. Initially I thought they were bug bites. I even washed all our bedding, vacuumed the mattress, vacuumed the box spring, etc. thinking they might be bed bugs since the welts tended to appear in the morning (which I've still never seen, thankfully!!!!). My husband pointed out that if they had been bed bugs he'd have bites, too and he didn't.
I couldn't predict when I would have them so I couldn't make an appointment with my PCP. Finally, one night they were bothering me so bad I went to my first ever visit to urgent care. The Dr. at urgent care told me I had hives and asked if I was on medication. I said, "No", but then remembered the Mirena and asked him if that could be the cause. The urgent care Dr. didn't know what Mirena was, and after I explained it, he told me that couldn't be the cause. I got home and went to Mirena's website where it states hives are a possible side effect. I was allergic to Mirena and it was making my life absolutely miserable.
I made an appointment with my PCP immediately and explained everything to her. Because my Dr. is an internist and not a gynecologist she couldn't take it out so I went back to the see the gyno that several of my friends see. By this time it was nearly a month after my visit to the urgent care and there were days I my entire stomach, bottom, arms and legs were covered in what looked like one giant welt/hive. To say I was miserable was an understatement. When (a different) nurse practitioner removed my Mirena she said "Since you only have this for bleeding we can do an ablation here in the office." and she sent me home with information.
For several months I was back to my "normal", extremely miserable cycle. Because I was desperate I went back to my friends' gyno. Again I wasn't able to see the Dr., but saw someone else (not sure if she was a nurse practitioner or a physician's assistant). Either way she, like the others in the office, kept pushing ablation. Every time I visited that office I really felt pressured to have the ablation and I was growing increasingly leery of the practice, even though it comes highly recommended by friends.
Desperate for answers I decided to follow through with the necessary steps toward ablation, even though I didn't feel totally comfortable with the idea. (Interestingly enough, when I went to the Dr. who ended up giving me the Mirena I went in looking for an ablation, but further research about the procedure, it's success rate and the unknown long term affects had me concerned). I made an appointment for an ultrasound to start the process. In 3 visits to the office I never met the Dr.
In the days between making the appointment for the ultrasound and the day of it, my husband was talking to a friend and somehow the subject of their wives medical journeys came up. This person's wife had been having horrendous female issues that made mine look normal. This person's wife even ended up in the ER several times and ended up with a doctor she loved, at the same medical facility where I had encountered the initial Dr. that I had no desire to ever see again. As my husband was telling me this story I asked him to find out the name of the doctor that his friend's wife was seeing. I called to make an appointment with that Dr. and was told he only does gynecologic oncology (thankfully this other woman wasn't seeing him for that, but she was definitely needing more specialized care than I was). The scheduler said, "We have two general gynecologists you could see." One was the person I had vowed never to see again and the other was a female. I wouldn't have cared if the other Dr. was Martian because I wasn't seeing the first one again.
The first appointment she had available was the same day I'd arranged childcare to have the ultrasound done at the office where all my friends go. I made the appointment with the new Dr. and cancelled my ultrasound. By this time it was about mid-April.
As soon as I saw the new Dr. and explained to her what had been going on since puberty and more recently she immediately said, "I know what's probably going on. You probably have adenomyosis. I know because I had it and your story is exactly like mine". (Some definitions, including the one linked say "adeno" is most commonly developed in middle age and after having had kids--mine has probably been around my entire life. Other definitions say it's most common in women who have had C-sections. I avoided a C-section with both of my deliveries). This Dr. also told me that because of where adenomyosis is there is no way to actually test for it or see it until a hysterectomy is done. A hysterectomy is the only cure. This Dr. also told me that if I'd gone ahead with the ablation I would probably be one of the 1/3 of women who describe their periods as "normal" after the procedure.
I was THRILLED meeting with this Dr. because she actually listened to me and presented a reason, instead of just trying to mask the symptoms as every other Dr. had since I was in jr. high and high school. Yes, the solution was drastic, but at least it would be a real solution to a real and not just a band-aid. The new Dr. scheduled another ultrasound to make sure I didn't have fibroids so, for the second time in a year, I was being checked for fibroids. Just as the previous ultrasound showed, there were none. After everything came back clear the Dr. called me herself (not a nurse or receptionist) and told me my next step was to meet with a gynecologic surgeon. That appointment was the beginning of May.
The surgeon agreed with the adenomyosis diagnosis and we talked about hysterectomy in detail and she answered my questions. We talked about the surgery itself, the recovery, the technique she would use, etc. She explained to me options and left the ball in my court telling me to go home, think about it, and let her know what I decided. This appointment was a week before my 36th birthday and nearly a year after I'd actively started the journey of trying to diagnose (and solve) the problems that had plagued me for over 20 years.
A few days later I called the scheduler and had my surgery date: Monday, June 18, the day after Father's Day.
The surgery was supposed to be outpatient, but because I had a 3 year old and a 5 year old my surgeon decided to have me stay overnight because she knew I'd rest better at the hospital than at home :) Because I hadn't had any C-sections and because of the reason for my surgery I was a candidate for having mine done vaginally and not having any incisions.
I am a WIMP when it comes to pain and I was seriously scared of what was to come. I didn't believe the surgeon when she told me the recovery from my type of surgery would be easy because I was thinking "Um . . . you've never met me. I'm a WIMP."
I spent Monday night in the hospital and was taking some pretty hard core pain killers after my surgery and through the night. There were times I was in serious pain and counting down until I could get more medication. Tuesday morning I was given 2 percoset and those managed my pain. Tuesday afternoon I was given 2 more just before being discharged. I took one more at home before bed on Tuesday night. Wednesday morning I took 800mg of ibuprofen and by Friday I didn't even need that anymore, which absolutely blew me away! My friends were surprised to see me at church Saturday, but I was feeling so great there wasn't any reason to make myself stay home.
After surgery the surgeon told my husband she found adenomyosis and some fibroids that had been hiding during my previous ultrasounds. My surgeon later told me the same thing and also told me my uterus was "enlarged and boggy". At my 6 week follow up I received the pathology report that showed my uterus was 130 grams. For a little perspective, my surgeon explained to me that an "average" uterus is 70 grams so mine was basically twice the size it "should" be. Between it being 2x the normal size, the hidden fibroids and the adenomyosis I felt extremely justified in having had the surgery.
The most inconvenient part of my surgery and recovery was not being able to go swimming for 6 weeks in the middle of a Phoenix summer (my restrictions were essentially the same as if I'd had given birth via C-section).
I was even teaching 20 3 year olds at Vacation Bible School 3 weeks post-op! (By the way, that I DON'T recommend because I was in pretty serious pain that week and it definitely fell into the "overdoing it" category but they were desperate for teachers and I thought I was recovered enough to help)
Next month will be 1 year since my surgery date and life has been great since. I'm incredibly thankful for that conversation my husband had with his friend that led me to the Dr. who finally listened and gave me a diagnosis instead of just trying to mask the symptoms as so many others have done.
I have left out some details, but hope that this takes some of the mystery out of something that seems so shocking to most women. When I've mentioned my surgery to other women the general comment I receive is is "I'm sorry." I'm not sorry for myself, because my surgery was done on my terms (after my husband and I had already decided we were done having kids) and because it's made my quality of life so much better.
I completely understand that for some women whose hands have been forced for them and whose surgeries where not in their plan or timing (complications from childbirth that required it, a cancer diagnosis, etc.) that it is a much different situation and my heart breaks for them because I can't fathom the emotional pain they've experienced. I truly am sorry for them.
As I write this I can think of several women I know/know of who fall into these categories, including one who needed a gestational carrier for her second two pregnancies and I know that was EXTREMELY difficult for her. In writing this I have tried to be sensitive to the pain of women whose chance at carrying their own children has been taken from them prematurely.
The long story short is I've had female problems since puberty. For years several remedies have been prescribed or recommended, but they've all been band-aids and I'd never found an answer to the "Why?" question I've asked countless doctors over the years.
I'd often heard that after having kids things can regulate themselves. From 12/05-12/09 I was pregnant or nursing all but a few months so I didn't really know if things were getting better or not. I had a few good months after I'd stopped nursing my second and I was excited. I had also done a lot of reading about peri-menopause and how a woman's late 30's and 40's can get fairly inconvenient in the years leading up to menopause.
A few months before my 35th birthday things started getting wonky again (or for me--normal). At my annual exam that year I mentioned it to my PCP and she ordered an ultrasound to rule out fibroids. My ultrasound didn't show anything unusual, so my PCP sent me to a gynecologist (one I had never seen. I no longer saw my OB after the birth of my second).
This particular gynecologist was not very patient friendly (actually he was a jerk). At first he just tried saying "If you think things are bad now wait until your 40's". This doctor wasn't listening and before I knew it I had a Mirena IUD, even though I had said repeatedly I did not want to be on artificial hormones. My husband and I had already made a permanent birth control decision so I wasn't using this for that purpose. I went in for a consult with that Dr. and ended up with it before I really had time to think or process since he presented it as my only option and made me make an immediate decision. For several reasons I walked out of that appointment knowing I would NEVER see that particular Dr. again. It truly was a horrible experience. (Thankfully a few months ago I received notice he is leaving that facility).
Immediately I had "buyer's remorse". When I started experiencing negative side effects I called another gynecologist's office (where several of my friends go) about having it removed. Because I'd only had it a few weeks I was told to "give it time" and was told "If you just want to stop bleeding have an ablation". I tried explaining to the nurse practitioner (couldn't see the OB/GYN) what I had explained to the gynecologist who gave me the Mirena--I wasn't looking to treat the symptoms--I wanted to treat the (unknown) cause, but she didn't listen any better than the first gynecologist I saw in this journey.
The Mirena was implanted in August and by mid-October I was breaking out in red, itchy welts. At first the welts came and went and were confined just to part of my legs. Initially I thought they were bug bites. I even washed all our bedding, vacuumed the mattress, vacuumed the box spring, etc. thinking they might be bed bugs since the welts tended to appear in the morning (which I've still never seen, thankfully!!!!). My husband pointed out that if they had been bed bugs he'd have bites, too and he didn't.
I couldn't predict when I would have them so I couldn't make an appointment with my PCP. Finally, one night they were bothering me so bad I went to my first ever visit to urgent care. The Dr. at urgent care told me I had hives and asked if I was on medication. I said, "No", but then remembered the Mirena and asked him if that could be the cause. The urgent care Dr. didn't know what Mirena was, and after I explained it, he told me that couldn't be the cause. I got home and went to Mirena's website where it states hives are a possible side effect. I was allergic to Mirena and it was making my life absolutely miserable.
I made an appointment with my PCP immediately and explained everything to her. Because my Dr. is an internist and not a gynecologist she couldn't take it out so I went back to the see the gyno that several of my friends see. By this time it was nearly a month after my visit to the urgent care and there were days I my entire stomach, bottom, arms and legs were covered in what looked like one giant welt/hive. To say I was miserable was an understatement. When (a different) nurse practitioner removed my Mirena she said "Since you only have this for bleeding we can do an ablation here in the office." and she sent me home with information.
For several months I was back to my "normal", extremely miserable cycle. Because I was desperate I went back to my friends' gyno. Again I wasn't able to see the Dr., but saw someone else (not sure if she was a nurse practitioner or a physician's assistant). Either way she, like the others in the office, kept pushing ablation. Every time I visited that office I really felt pressured to have the ablation and I was growing increasingly leery of the practice, even though it comes highly recommended by friends.
Desperate for answers I decided to follow through with the necessary steps toward ablation, even though I didn't feel totally comfortable with the idea. (Interestingly enough, when I went to the Dr. who ended up giving me the Mirena I went in looking for an ablation, but further research about the procedure, it's success rate and the unknown long term affects had me concerned). I made an appointment for an ultrasound to start the process. In 3 visits to the office I never met the Dr.
In the days between making the appointment for the ultrasound and the day of it, my husband was talking to a friend and somehow the subject of their wives medical journeys came up. This person's wife had been having horrendous female issues that made mine look normal. This person's wife even ended up in the ER several times and ended up with a doctor she loved, at the same medical facility where I had encountered the initial Dr. that I had no desire to ever see again. As my husband was telling me this story I asked him to find out the name of the doctor that his friend's wife was seeing. I called to make an appointment with that Dr. and was told he only does gynecologic oncology (thankfully this other woman wasn't seeing him for that, but she was definitely needing more specialized care than I was). The scheduler said, "We have two general gynecologists you could see." One was the person I had vowed never to see again and the other was a female. I wouldn't have cared if the other Dr. was Martian because I wasn't seeing the first one again.
The first appointment she had available was the same day I'd arranged childcare to have the ultrasound done at the office where all my friends go. I made the appointment with the new Dr. and cancelled my ultrasound. By this time it was about mid-April.
As soon as I saw the new Dr. and explained to her what had been going on since puberty and more recently she immediately said, "I know what's probably going on. You probably have adenomyosis. I know because I had it and your story is exactly like mine". (Some definitions, including the one linked say "adeno" is most commonly developed in middle age and after having had kids--mine has probably been around my entire life. Other definitions say it's most common in women who have had C-sections. I avoided a C-section with both of my deliveries). This Dr. also told me that because of where adenomyosis is there is no way to actually test for it or see it until a hysterectomy is done. A hysterectomy is the only cure. This Dr. also told me that if I'd gone ahead with the ablation I would probably be one of the 1/3 of women who describe their periods as "normal" after the procedure.
I was THRILLED meeting with this Dr. because she actually listened to me and presented a reason, instead of just trying to mask the symptoms as every other Dr. had since I was in jr. high and high school. Yes, the solution was drastic, but at least it would be a real solution to a real and not just a band-aid. The new Dr. scheduled another ultrasound to make sure I didn't have fibroids so, for the second time in a year, I was being checked for fibroids. Just as the previous ultrasound showed, there were none. After everything came back clear the Dr. called me herself (not a nurse or receptionist) and told me my next step was to meet with a gynecologic surgeon. That appointment was the beginning of May.
The surgeon agreed with the adenomyosis diagnosis and we talked about hysterectomy in detail and she answered my questions. We talked about the surgery itself, the recovery, the technique she would use, etc. She explained to me options and left the ball in my court telling me to go home, think about it, and let her know what I decided. This appointment was a week before my 36th birthday and nearly a year after I'd actively started the journey of trying to diagnose (and solve) the problems that had plagued me for over 20 years.
A few days later I called the scheduler and had my surgery date: Monday, June 18, the day after Father's Day.
The surgery was supposed to be outpatient, but because I had a 3 year old and a 5 year old my surgeon decided to have me stay overnight because she knew I'd rest better at the hospital than at home :) Because I hadn't had any C-sections and because of the reason for my surgery I was a candidate for having mine done vaginally and not having any incisions.
I am a WIMP when it comes to pain and I was seriously scared of what was to come. I didn't believe the surgeon when she told me the recovery from my type of surgery would be easy because I was thinking "Um . . . you've never met me. I'm a WIMP."
I spent Monday night in the hospital and was taking some pretty hard core pain killers after my surgery and through the night. There were times I was in serious pain and counting down until I could get more medication. Tuesday morning I was given 2 percoset and those managed my pain. Tuesday afternoon I was given 2 more just before being discharged. I took one more at home before bed on Tuesday night. Wednesday morning I took 800mg of ibuprofen and by Friday I didn't even need that anymore, which absolutely blew me away! My friends were surprised to see me at church Saturday, but I was feeling so great there wasn't any reason to make myself stay home.
After surgery the surgeon told my husband she found adenomyosis and some fibroids that had been hiding during my previous ultrasounds. My surgeon later told me the same thing and also told me my uterus was "enlarged and boggy". At my 6 week follow up I received the pathology report that showed my uterus was 130 grams. For a little perspective, my surgeon explained to me that an "average" uterus is 70 grams so mine was basically twice the size it "should" be. Between it being 2x the normal size, the hidden fibroids and the adenomyosis I felt extremely justified in having had the surgery.
The most inconvenient part of my surgery and recovery was not being able to go swimming for 6 weeks in the middle of a Phoenix summer (my restrictions were essentially the same as if I'd had given birth via C-section).
I was even teaching 20 3 year olds at Vacation Bible School 3 weeks post-op! (By the way, that I DON'T recommend because I was in pretty serious pain that week and it definitely fell into the "overdoing it" category but they were desperate for teachers and I thought I was recovered enough to help)
Next month will be 1 year since my surgery date and life has been great since. I'm incredibly thankful for that conversation my husband had with his friend that led me to the Dr. who finally listened and gave me a diagnosis instead of just trying to mask the symptoms as so many others have done.
I have left out some details, but hope that this takes some of the mystery out of something that seems so shocking to most women. When I've mentioned my surgery to other women the general comment I receive is is "I'm sorry." I'm not sorry for myself, because my surgery was done on my terms (after my husband and I had already decided we were done having kids) and because it's made my quality of life so much better.
I completely understand that for some women whose hands have been forced for them and whose surgeries where not in their plan or timing (complications from childbirth that required it, a cancer diagnosis, etc.) that it is a much different situation and my heart breaks for them because I can't fathom the emotional pain they've experienced. I truly am sorry for them.
As I write this I can think of several women I know/know of who fall into these categories, including one who needed a gestational carrier for her second two pregnancies and I know that was EXTREMELY difficult for her. In writing this I have tried to be sensitive to the pain of women whose chance at carrying their own children has been taken from them prematurely.
Friday, May 24, 2013
It's Over!
I'm not sure who has been counting down the days until summer vacation more--my son or me. I'm thinking it was probably me because I'm READY to have my Buddy Boy home for the next few months. I'm not going to lie--the events in CT in December really messed with my mind and it was hard to drop my son off at school every day.
We're still committed to sending him (and eventually our daughter) to public school, but I missed having him around during the day this year. Even saying that sounds odd to me because I thought for sure I'd be the mom crying tears of joy on the first day of school thankful to have time to myself for the first time in 6 years. (Our 4 year old went to preschool 2 mornings a week this year, which meant I had 7 hours a week where I could shower, go to the bathroom and go to Costco by myself for the first time since August, 2006). It turns out I really enjoy my son (when he's not melting down!) and I like having him with me.
My husband gives me a week before I'm ready to send him back to school :)
I was warned that, as much as it seems time has flown in the past 6 years, once the kids start school it will REALLY fly. I believe that because I can't believe my son is now done with Kindergarten and on his way to 1st grade!
I was also not prepared for how much my son would physically change in the months between his first day of Kindergarten and his last.
A few things stand out to me in this picture:
1) He has definitely aged since August
2) Look at where his head is in relation to the doorknob (the main reason I take "milestone" pictures at the front door is to measure them in relation to the fixtures)
3) Look at those "puppy dog" feet!!
As of the first day of school he hadn't lost any teeth, but he now has his bottom two "adult teeth" growing in.
I was handling today pretty well and then, after school, I saw a friend and said "Last day of Kindergarten" as I started saying it my eyes welled up and I was having trouble talking. I truly can't believe his first year of school is over and that there are only 12 more years until he's walking across a stage in a cap and gown receiving his high school diploma.
If anybody finds life's "pause" button could you please send it to me because I could REALLY use it!!!
We're still committed to sending him (and eventually our daughter) to public school, but I missed having him around during the day this year. Even saying that sounds odd to me because I thought for sure I'd be the mom crying tears of joy on the first day of school thankful to have time to myself for the first time in 6 years. (Our 4 year old went to preschool 2 mornings a week this year, which meant I had 7 hours a week where I could shower, go to the bathroom and go to Costco by myself for the first time since August, 2006). It turns out I really enjoy my son (when he's not melting down!) and I like having him with me.
My husband gives me a week before I'm ready to send him back to school :)
I was warned that, as much as it seems time has flown in the past 6 years, once the kids start school it will REALLY fly. I believe that because I can't believe my son is now done with Kindergarten and on his way to 1st grade!
I was also not prepared for how much my son would physically change in the months between his first day of Kindergarten and his last.
 |
| First Day of Kindergarten August, 2012 |
 |
| Last Day of Kindergarten May, 2012 |
1) He has definitely aged since August
2) Look at where his head is in relation to the doorknob (the main reason I take "milestone" pictures at the front door is to measure them in relation to the fixtures)
3) Look at those "puppy dog" feet!!
As of the first day of school he hadn't lost any teeth, but he now has his bottom two "adult teeth" growing in.
I was handling today pretty well and then, after school, I saw a friend and said "Last day of Kindergarten" as I started saying it my eyes welled up and I was having trouble talking. I truly can't believe his first year of school is over and that there are only 12 more years until he's walking across a stage in a cap and gown receiving his high school diploma.
If anybody finds life's "pause" button could you please send it to me because I could REALLY use it!!!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Memory Lane . . . an adolescent crush and a middle aged Mom
I'm a huge fan of my local library. Lately I've been on a kick of reading biographies. In the past few days I have read Gifted Hands by Dr. Ben Carson, Believe by Eric LeGrand and I'm currently reading Imperfect by Jim Abbott.
I was born to two parents who are baseball fans. My mom, in particular, is a huge fan of the (California/Anaheim/I refuse to use their current "location") Angels. I was born in Orange County, lived there until Christmas vacation of Kindergarten, and came back in 1998 when I was in 6th grade. No matter our geography we were Angels fans, even travelling to Oakland to watch them play the "local" team every year on hat day. (My mom refused to keep her hats and, begrudgingly allowed us to keep ours, though we never dared to wear them). In 1986 my mom even flew from our home in San Jose, CA back to Orange County to watch a playoff game.
When we moved back to Orange County my parents went in on season tickets with my aunt's co-workers. There were 8 people in the group who each got 4 seats to 10 games a season. While I definitely went though my New Kids on the Block phase most of my adolescent crushes were on the Angels roster.
One of those happened to be Jim Abbott. One of our 10 games in 1989 happened to land on the day of Abbott's MLB debut. I was thrilled! Alongside my posters of Joe McIntyre I had pictures of Jim Abbott.
A few moments ago I got to the part of the book where he talks about his first start. I haven't read his account of that day, yet, but the memories are coming back for me of where *I* was that day and in the years he was on "my" team.
I remember taking his picture at Photo Day (One day a year fans were allowed on the field to take pictures of their favorite players--always from behind a rope) and wishing I could meet him.
Now that I'm 37, have been married for 9 years and have 2 kids it's comical to me to think about that 12/13 year old girl who had a crush on a major league baseball player, but reading the names he mentions throughout the book are bringing back a flood of memories from afternoons spent at the ballpark with my family and of evenings spent at home watching my Halos on KTLA.
I was born to two parents who are baseball fans. My mom, in particular, is a huge fan of the (California/Anaheim/I refuse to use their current "location") Angels. I was born in Orange County, lived there until Christmas vacation of Kindergarten, and came back in 1998 when I was in 6th grade. No matter our geography we were Angels fans, even travelling to Oakland to watch them play the "local" team every year on hat day. (My mom refused to keep her hats and, begrudgingly allowed us to keep ours, though we never dared to wear them). In 1986 my mom even flew from our home in San Jose, CA back to Orange County to watch a playoff game.
When we moved back to Orange County my parents went in on season tickets with my aunt's co-workers. There were 8 people in the group who each got 4 seats to 10 games a season. While I definitely went though my New Kids on the Block phase most of my adolescent crushes were on the Angels roster.
One of those happened to be Jim Abbott. One of our 10 games in 1989 happened to land on the day of Abbott's MLB debut. I was thrilled! Alongside my posters of Joe McIntyre I had pictures of Jim Abbott.
A few moments ago I got to the part of the book where he talks about his first start. I haven't read his account of that day, yet, but the memories are coming back for me of where *I* was that day and in the years he was on "my" team.
I remember taking his picture at Photo Day (One day a year fans were allowed on the field to take pictures of their favorite players--always from behind a rope) and wishing I could meet him.
Now that I'm 37, have been married for 9 years and have 2 kids it's comical to me to think about that 12/13 year old girl who had a crush on a major league baseball player, but reading the names he mentions throughout the book are bringing back a flood of memories from afternoons spent at the ballpark with my family and of evenings spent at home watching my Halos on KTLA.
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